Thank you for your concerns, greatly appreciated. I'm feeling somewhat selfish making this post, considering the the great loses in other parts of the world, loses of human, animal lives and homes and countries. Because of the great positive place SoC has been for me and the sincere and caring people here, i feel an explanation is needed. Please, i'm not presenting this as drama. Depression....been going some medication increase and change of medication. I wasn't born with this, it's not herity,or in my family, not a chemical off balance, developed about 26 years ago, due to extreme issues that was dealt to me for me to deal with alone, because of what a person did and how it was done, i paid a very high price, depression. Counselling has been a regular part of my life, then and now. Living in a small town can be hard sometimes, bumping into those past inlaws who made me feel of no worth. should maybe have settled in a different town, but my connections are here, didn't want to give that up. There was not enough truth, when entering the 2nd marriage, great financial distress, no education, being illiterate. He had a lot of good qualities, but not the ones needed to conduct his farm and life on his own. PLEASE..... i'm not looking for sympathy....i'm posting this because of all the caring and supportive people here, which i appreciate a great deal....I'm not trying to cause any drama. Many people suffer from depression, in so many different types, and ways. If any of you are experiencing this in any form, i feel for you, do feel to talk about it. I'm trying very hard to get back in to attendance here, it' a great and important place for me, with all of you, please don't treat me any different, i'm still the same person you have got to know. VERY BIG THANK YOU TO ALL.