Mark Twain's Plan For The Improvement Of Spelling

Discussion in 'Evolution of Language' started by Mikhail Bulgakov, Feb 13, 2019.

  1. Mikhail Bulgakov

    Mikhail Bulgakov Very Well-Known Member
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    I've kept this around for years, and "Internet" spelling has kept it relevant. It's not an argument, per se, just a bit of Twain's humor.

    A Plan for the Improvement of Spelling in the English Language

    By Mark Twain

    For example, in Year 1 that useless letter “c” would be dropped to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which “c” would be retained would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform “w” spelling, so that “which” and “one” would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish “y” replasing it with “i” and iear 4 might fiks the “g/j” anomali wonse and for all.

    Generally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeiniing voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x”—bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez —tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivili.

    Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
     
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  2. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Supreme Member
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    If there was ever a functioning drunkard it must have been Mark Twain
    [​IMG]
    "Twain was a classic example of a heavy drinker and absolutely not an alcoholic. Basically he had two rules when it came to boozing; he never drank alone and he never turned down a drink if anyone offered him one. Or in his own words: “Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself. And never refuse to take a drink – under any circumstances.”
     
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  3. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    Hey, makes sense to me. :D
     
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  4. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Supreme Member
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  5. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    Churchill was another functional drunkard. There are many tales of his alcohol consumption.
     
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  6. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Supreme Member
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    Why your brain can read jumbled letters

    "It deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. ... "Clearly, the first and last letter is not the only thing that you use when reading text," he writes
     
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