Joke Of The Day

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Craig Swanson, Dec 11, 2019.

  1. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Greeter
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    A few days ago an elderly man was tooling along through a neiborhood on his wheelchair when he noticed a young boy sitting on the retaining wall in front of his house, crying as if his heart was breaking.

    He pulled alongside the youngster and asked, “Son, what’s the matter? Why are you crying so?”

    “I’m… cry… crying ’cause I can’t do what my 20-year-old brother does,” he said.

    So the old man sat there and cried with him.
     
    #76
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  2. Lois Winters

    Lois Winters Greeter
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  3. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Very Well-Known Member
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    @Lois Winters If I looked like tennis shoe girl, I would be tempted to do the same thing. :D
     
    #78
  4. Craig Swanson

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    If you looked like the tennis shoe girl I'd take up tennis:p
     
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  5. Craig Swanson

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    Check out the humor of some of these Aussie signs.
    [​IMG]

    There is another funny one.. but too many "f" bombs in it to post on a public forum.
     
    #80
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2020
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  6. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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  7. Craig Swanson

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    Will I get some flack from you girls for posting this.

    In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He rested.

    Then God created man, and then they both rested.

    Then God created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever rested.
     
    #82
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  8. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Greeter
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  9. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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  10. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Greeter
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    My wife is so negative.

    I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.

    Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
     
    #85
  11. Craig Swanson

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  12. Lois Winters

    Lois Winters Greeter
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  13. Craig Swanson

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    #88
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  14. Craig Swanson

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    Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates.Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?” “I was a police officer,” he responded.“What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked. "I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.” “Welcome to heaven. You may end the gates.”He asked the second man what he did as a police officer.“I was a traffic officer,” said the man. “I kept the roads and highways safe.”“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.”He asked the third man what he did as a police officer.“I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man.“Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter. “I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?”
     
    #89
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2020
  15. Craig Swanson

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    A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."
     
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