Joke Of The Day

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Craig Swanson, Dec 11, 2019.

  1. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Very Well-Known Member
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    What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?

    I have no idea but I wouldn’t try milking it.
     
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  2. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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  3. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Very Well-Known Member
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    No offence to any blonde Boomers.

    There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a dumb blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement, "I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to know that this blonde went home last night and did something probably none of you could do. I memorized all the state capitals." One of the guys, of course, said, "I don't believe you. What is the capital of Nevada?" "N," she answered.
     
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  4. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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    #4
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  5. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Very Well-Known Member
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    Since I'm blonde, I'm partial to blonde jokes. I actually have to read that one twice to figure out what she did wrong. :D
     
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  6. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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    Blond all the way to the roots, huh? :D
     
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  7. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    LOL.. not only am I blonde , but I could probably name more of the US state capitals than many Americans.. :D:D
     
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  8. Lois Winters

    Lois Winters Very Well-Known Member
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    That's OK, I was blonde until my hair turned white.
     
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  9. Lois Winters

    Lois Winters Very Well-Known Member
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  10. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    Joke about school.
    Darqueeze played high school football in Detroit. He was a great running back, but a really poor student. At graduation, he didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football star and the students held a rally and demanded the principal give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the principal agreed that if Darqueeze could answer one question correctly, he would give him a diploma. The one question test was held in the auditorium and all the students packed the place. It was standing room only. The principal was on the stage and told him to come up. Diploma in hand, the principal said:
    "Darqueeze, if you can answer this one question correctly, I'll give you your diploma." "Darqueeze, how much is three times seven?" Darqueeze looked up at the ceiling and then down at his shoes, pondering the question. The other students began chanting, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!"

    Then Darqueez held up his hand and the auditorium became silent. He said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one." A hush fell over the auditorium and then all the other students began to chant:

    "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"
     
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  11. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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    A whole school of blonds????????? :D
     
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  12. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Very Well-Known Member
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    But not you Shirley. ;)

    Another for @Bess Barber then.:p
    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
     
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  13. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Very Well-Known Member
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    There was an old man and an old lady who were 60 years old and celebrating 40 years of marriage.
    God was pleased with them and said both could choose a gift.
    The wife said she wanted them to go on a cruise ship to the Bahamas.
    Poof....God miraculously put two tickets in her hand
    The husband said, he wished he could go with a woman 30 years younger than him.
    Poof....he was 90 years old.
     
    #13
  14. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Very Well-Known Member
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    :D
    I am a similar age and have been married almost that long.. where is my free cruise?
     
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  15. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    I called the doctor "My wife is going into labour! What should I do?"

    "Is this her first child?" he asked.

    "No, this is her husband."
     
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