The term I learned as a kid for "childless". Having raised two teen-agers not my own, I reflected that it was fortunate I worked hard at avoiding unwanted pregnancy. Sounds selfish? Why? "Selfish to not want kids", I've heard. So, in my old age, I cannot relate to those of you who write of enjoyably little trysts with grandkids, and such. I wish it to you, however, as pleasurable activity in old age is not always there in abundance. Some of you know of my past, losing both in-laws together, "inheriting" the two kids, then bringing them up to adulthood, then losing the boy at 25 to Ulcerative Colitis. I loved that kid. My wife's grief was brought to a "head" by his death. She withdrew into herself, wishing to be alone, and we were divorced after 12 years and the finishing up of raising two kids, her brother & sister. There's my raising children story "in a nutball", as my Hoosier wife says. Have any of you had no children of your own, either by chance or choice? Frank
I don't have children Frank - I wanted a family all my life, a child deserves that I could not give that to a child, there would be no Grandparents, no uncles, no aunts I'm not sure I'd have been a great parent, love in abundance yes, but over protective - definitely At least I protected a potential child from the long term harm I endured as he/she, would have been a part of it all We thought of fostering, but there were so many problems to overcome in my life and when I finally got there my health deteriorated. That's life Frank
Maybe you can say that we have no children by choice. I ovarian cysts on 3 occasions that needed surgery. And the cysts appeared when I was prescribed fertility pills. On the first occasion, there was a ruptured cyst that required emergency surgery. On the second occasion, a laparoscopy procedure was done (inserting a scope to remove the cyst). I was lucky that the 3rd occasion was detected earlier so I just quit taking the fertility pill. My husband was against that for it may endanger my life. So we are left with no kids of our own.
No children here. I tried a time or two when I was in a somewhat stable relationship, but with endometriosis and other health issues, it didn't happen. Fertility treatments weren't as prevalent back then, nor were the funds for that, and my biological clock wasn't particularly loud anyway. I was close to my nieces and Goddaughter when they were young, but even my sister and mother aren't close to them these days, which is a shame. When the last ex and I got together, he already had 4 children and around 15 grandkids, and that was enough. It was one of his sons who just died, and that's the one I was closest to, and considered a stepson. He was the youngest and closest to his dad and me. With the way the world is going, I'm often glad I don't have children of my own to leave behind.
I got what I wanted..a boy and a girl. Don't know if I would have kept trying if that's not the way it worked out. I do love children but also want a good life for them and I knew what our finances could handle. I also didn't want to have children and then go to work and have to drop them off in day care at 3 months old. That was my choice and many do work and drop them off...my kids being good examples. My daughter didn't go to Dental school to stay home. She had 2 boys but didn't try for a girl, life was hard enough working and having 2 children. My son a Dil, same scenario but after 2 boys they tried for a daughter but got another boy. It does make their household more hectic but they mange by working as a very good team. Son and son in law both have vasectomies. I had my tubes tied after my son. I had ABO incompatibility and that's why it was done. Usually back then at age 26 they didn't tie your tubes, especially at a Catholic Hospital but with this issue My next child could have been stillborn, etc and I would have needed treatment during my pregnancy. I didn't want any more kids anyway so I never regretted my decision of having my tubes tied. Also didn't have to worry about birth control.
I didn't know about your story Frank. Very sad. I never had or wanted kids. The house I grew up in cured me of that.
@Kitty Carmel Thank you for that, Kitty. My story above is pretty abbreviated, for sake of not dwelling on all the incredible circumstances; I'll relater one, we were two kids ourselves thrown into an adult miasma of intrusion of privacy during possibly the worst time of our lives, especially my young wife, who was just 20. Police Captain on the scene (my wife remained home) insisted I bring her to the Police Station to give a statement immediately, this just after she lost both parents. Dutifully, I explained to her the necessity, and around midnight took her to the P.D. I only wish I knew then, what I know now. The following edition of our town's local newspaper carried her story, almost word for word, including names and addresses! We could not believe it! Then came the dawn: paper paid the cops to provide gory details of events, probably money "under the table", considering it happened in Crook, er,......Cook County, Illinois. I should have told that cop to go fly a kite. Frank