I Am Emotionally Overwhelmed By Sof!

Discussion in 'Notices & Announcements' started by Frank Sanoica, Mar 8, 2016.

  1. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    Lurking about, a few members I knew tried to convince me SOF folks were much more open-minded, accepting, realistic than other forums. I am a born skeptic, that trait having been reinforced by life-experiences time and again, so felt for "signs" before "jumping in"

    I gotta say, in support of the Forum as well as it's members, even my own brash and arrogant ways, though not intended to "read" that way, usually do, adding a kind of abrasiveness which makes things creak and squeal. It has not happened, at least so far.

    After leaving The last forum I attended of similar concept, I received several horrid, demeaning emails, questioning my very value as a human being, claiming I had made up all the life experiences I had told of, and calling me a liar. I was saddened at first, and replied to the first accusatory note, asking that if the sender could identify himself/herself, only by username, perhaps I could make amends. That prompted a second, even worse note, of course with little hint of the sender's identity, further slandering my personal being. That one I did not respond to. It accused me of name-calling and badgering, ridiculously condemning the truth of the matter, which was, I had never done anything like that. The worst thing I could figure out I had done, was failed to observe "political correctness", this being an absolutely awful and pernicious fault. I wondered what kinds of minds drove folks to become so glaringly upset, these folks at the same time being serving and professed Christians. Not fitting of a "Christian Ethic", in my mind.

    I am writing this OP as an expression of gladness to find "release" from those stigmas alleged against my character. Somehow, I had greatly pissed people off, but not all, I learned later. For that reason, I have been very reluctant here, to discuss much of my past, and felt it necessary to shield that from general view. Just my conscience-driven way of "fessin'-up".
    Frank
     
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  2. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Very Well-Known Member
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    @Frank Sanoica , We do understand your reticence in exposing yourself just after being chewed on by sharks. Many of us have gone through this as well, so your forgiven. :rolleyes:

    Just be your impish self, and if something get misunderstood we are more likely to ask for calificatiom than to bite or attack. We're looking for pease not war,:p:)
     
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  3. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    How can I adequately thank you?

    Frank
     
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  4. Terry Page

    Terry Page Very Well-Known Member
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    Same here Frank I feel the members on SOC are a tolerant and understanding lot. I always try to understand what is beneath a person behaving in an abrasive way, hurt is usually the reason. Weirdness is OK I was born weird myself :rolleyes: but personal attacks which you have experienced on the other forum are just not acceptable or tolerated here.
     
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  5. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
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    We will allow you to be Frank,with us.;)
    [​IMG]
     
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  6. Mari North

    Mari North Very Well-Known Member
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    I'm glad you're here, @Frank Sanoica . What happened to you at that other place... totally unacceptable. I'm not naive, and I know that any time there's a group of people, there's going to be bullying once in a while, but I haven't seen it blatantly here yet. In fact, I just said to someone privately a few days ago that I'm fully aware that at some point I'm going to say something that someone doesn't like and I'll get blasted. (I tend to be uh.... verbal ;) vs. allowing myself to be stepped on and kicked around... have you noticed? I know it's subtle. harhar)

    But anyhow, yes, this is a great place. I'm very intuitive and sometimes I sense an underlying snark with a person or two, but I do that myself and suspect that a few are "onto me" too. :D

    I can't tolerate bullying. Had enough of that in school with Patty, my nemesis. Much too old to put up with it any longer. Carry on!
     
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  7. Bonnie Thomas

    Bonnie Thomas Very Well-Known Member
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    ....................... Here .......................................vs .......................................There .................................
    good.png
     
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  8. Gary Ridenour

    Gary Ridenour Very Well-Known Member
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    ive been on a lot of forums.including many that are political. and have only one rule. it unfair to play fair. this is a nice place.:)
     
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  9. Denise Happyfeet

    Denise Happyfeet Very Well-Known Member
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    Hey Frank,

    It's been my experience, people are always going to be a mix of good, bad, or indifferent. I don't know a better way to say that, but you will know what I mean I think. What makes this board different (in a very good way) than many I've been on is the management. I think that has everything to do with a board being a great place to hang out, or not.

    I feel there is a lot of "acceptance" here, for all kinds of people. It doesn't feel click'ish, but to be honest, I see that it may be "waiting" to "try" and raise it's ugly head. And to that possibility, I say "good bloody luck with that" because I don't believe it will be put up with.

    But like I said, there are always going to be those that are so unhappy with themselves, that they somehow have the misguided idea that if they can make others miserable, put them down, then they will elevate themselves in others eyes. I think it's really called "bullying" and that's been taught to me by the children. I mean we had it when I was a kid, but it wasn't called that then;) No bullying, zero tolerance!! Where's my sign? If @Sifu Phil Bonifonte was here he'd make me one, I know he would, LOL!
     
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  10. Denise Happyfeet

    Denise Happyfeet Very Well-Known Member
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    There's the "joe" I know, LOL!!
     
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  11. Denise Happyfeet

    Denise Happyfeet Very Well-Known Member
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    Yes, what I like about "here" is weirdos are welcome, I love being a weirdo, not to be confused with irregular. I don't like being irregular:confused:
     
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  12. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    Cliques are often established for fairly normal reasons. Although many of us have friends who may disagree with us politically or religiously, we probably have something in common with the people who we consider to be friends. In real life, this might be a shared childhood, or perhaps we attended the same schools, worked together, or lived in the same neighborhood. One of the people I feel closest to here is someone who I disagree with on pretty much every political issue. But he's honest and we have enough respect for one another that we can allow the other to have a differing opinion. When I ran a cafe here, I mentioned once that he was the only customer I had who I can yell at, and he'll come back the next day.

    On an Internet forum, the only thing we usually have in common with other members are the opinions that we share, since we know one another only by our words. Here, we have the added advantage of being from the same generation, but still we know one another mostly through the things that we say here. It's not unusual for us to look for other commonalities, and to feel a special affinity toward those with whom we share opinions on various issues.

    Often I "like" someone's post here because I agree with what they have said but just as often, I think, I will "like" a post because it was well thought out, well stated, or just because it contributed to the conversation. I love discussing politics and religion and, while it may be comfortable for me to discuss such things with people who agree with me, it is more interesting when there are well thought out arguments that I disagree with, or may not have considered before.

    If we are going to continue to be successful as a group, we might have to sometimes make an effort to appreciate opinions that might, at the same time, anger us, and to realize that we're not always going to be able to do that as well as we'd like to. Like with my friend, we might yell at each other sometimes but we keep coming back because we know that we don't hate each other. It's harder to do that when someone disagrees with you, but is unwilling to give reasons for the disagreement, perhaps because no one is learning anything that way.

    So far, we are doing pretty well here, and that is to everyone's credit here.
     
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    Last edited: Mar 17, 2016
  13. Denise Happyfeet

    Denise Happyfeet Very Well-Known Member
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    I don't see personal attacks when people are discussing Politics on here or religion that's one thing that I will avoid at all costs and if need be I would leave a forum where personal attacks are allowed and that is why I think that soc is different I don't think personal attacks would be allowed here I think it's so interesting 2 talk with people who have different ideas or believe as long as its personable conversation not personal attacks because someone doesn't believe the same way that I do. I greatly respect humility in people and I look for that when I'm in search of a good company I find quite a bit of that here so I'll be sticking around for awhile thanks a lot ken for all your hard work here Denise
     
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  14. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    @Ken Anderson : Praise administered cautiously, a good sign, rather than none given as a rule, then sudden and deep disapproval. Such was my demise on another forum.

    Frank
     
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