Hula Hooping Naked - A Pome By Me

Discussion in 'Reading & Writing' started by Julie Stewart, Jun 6, 2016.

  1. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    [​IMG]

    Hula-hooping naked I thunked a funny thought.

    It seemed to me that, logically, I ought to buy a fort.

    "I ought to buy a fort", I thought." Then shouted out aloud,

    "I OUGHT TO BUY A FORT!" I shouted, staring at the crowd.



    Now, this thought about a fort that I thought I ought to buy

    Stopped the rhythm of the hoop and it hula'd down my thighs.

    And the crowd at which I'd stared at when I shouted out my mind

    Started to disrobe themselves ... which I thought was very kind.



    En-masse and nudely-naked we worked out a cunning plan,

    It involved a man called Stan who ran and gave his Nan some bran.

    Now, the bran to Nan from Stan (who ran), was patently a bribe

    To make Nan feel sorry for my naked, shivering tribe.



    You see, Stan's Nan was all bunged up AND had a castle in the west,

    And whilst a castle's not a fort ... constipation's not a jest!

    The cunning plan, it helped Stan's Nan to get her blockage flowing

    And we set off for the west where the setting sun was glowing.



    Now, I know it's just semantics, but let's call a spade a spade,

    Nan's castle WAS a fort and I knew I had it made!

    What's the difference you might ask? Well a fort is just for soldiers,

    While a castle is a rich man's home with fortified enclosures.



    So, I bought the fort, of which I'd thought, and live there with my tribe.

    But our chosen sport of naked hula-hooping sadly died.

    It would never be accepted as an Olympic standard sport,

    and now I'm thinking that we ought to build a tennis court.

    *****************************************************************************

    All my own nonsense, words and scribbles. I have a few more daft poems and am building up to an anthology of nonsense verse.

    Watch this space for my "Ode to My Remote Control", "I Had a Dog Crawl in My Ear" and "Limericking Around Europe"
     
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  2. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
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    Enjoyed the Hoopla!
    [​IMG]
     
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  3. Ike Willis

    Ike Willis Very Well-Known Member
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    Now I'm gonna have weird mental pictures in my head all night.:eek:
     
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  4. K E Gordon

    K E Gordon Very Well-Known Member
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    Hmmm- hula hooping naked sounds vaguely uncomfortable. I think it would be better than trampoline bouncing though...I could definetly see pain associated with that one. Quite a talent you have there though Julie Stewart. I think the nonsense verse poem anthology should do quite well! Keep it up! I will read.
     
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  5. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    Naked anything is good, IMO. In tick-infested Missouri Ozarks, acres of wild blackberries awaiting picking, I found invariably upon returning from doing so, several ticks had found their way onto my clothing. They always climb upwards, I've proved that, by allowing one to crawl on my arm, rotate it so the beastie is now moving downwards, he always turned back upwards. So, up your pants they likely climb, then find a nice warm, juicy spot inside your waistband, and begin burrowing in there. If yer not aware, it may take hours before you discover the damned things are on you. Feared Lyme disease like the Plague.

    Found if only shoes are worn while picking, as soon as a tick brushes off of grass or weed onto your leg, you feel it crawling immediately. Try killing one by squeezing it: between two fingernails, yes, finger tips, impossible. The neighbors never knew.......they were 3/4 mile away......Ha!
     
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  6. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
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    I'll wait for a remake of that old classic movie.....
    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Texas Beth

    Texas Beth Well-Known Member
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    I agree. I, too, will have images in my head for a while. But, then again, they might have been there anyway.
     
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  8. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    I just want you all to know that I don't indulge in the sport known as "Naked Hula Hooping", I have never done so and never will. The poem above, deeply philosophical it may be and full of esoteric and existential references with regard to the transcendence of the ego - is pure FICTION.

    I do, however, have a hula hoop. It has nobbles on the inner surface which massage loose flesh into submission. It breaks down into 8 constituent parts which store neatly in the drawstring bag that came with the hoop. I know this because it has been stored neatly for the last 3 years and 3 months (ie: since 2 months after I received it as a Christmas present ...). I don't disturb it as it looks so peaceful.
     
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  9. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    I'll get started o the film script after coffee tomorrow morning. OK?
     
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  10. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    There's something quite surreal going on here. We'll have hula-hooping ticks next.
     
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  11. Julie Stewart

    Julie Stewart Well-Known Member
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    @Joe Riley - you are a wonder indeed, an image for every occasion. That fish is definitely naked and in a hula hoop ...

    @Ike Willis - I hope you slept well?

    @K E Gordon - imagine hula-hooping on a trampoline ..... naked or otherwise.
     
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  12. Ike Willis

    Ike Willis Very Well-Known Member
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    th.jpe
     
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