I don’t think that I have ever been to an Applebees, although we do have those around here. Ruby Tuesdays is also my most favorite (Robin used to take me there ) and I loved their salad bar, too ! The one that was closest to where we live closed down a few years ago, so I have not been to one since then. Mostly, when we do go out to eat, we always go in the early afternoon to miss the lunch and the dinner diners, and Bobby prefers someplace close, which is IHOP, so that is where we go, when we do get to go out and eat. Both Bobby and Robin would be eligible for the free dinners, but Bobby said he does not want to go when a restaurant is busy, and it is better for the vets who can’t afford a meal to go and eat on Veterans Day, which I agree with.
I never go to the free vets stuff. It quite often is full of people who are not civil, although I saw an old guy (about my age) who was REALLY excited about a free coffee at Starbucks. He was grinning from ear-to-ear and I was happy for him that something so simple could give him such joy.
I had Cody on ignore for a while now and things were pretty normal and fun. I happened to take him off for this post and I am sorry.
Trivial stuff is fine. We all have it and sometimes your trivial stuff is similar to mine so we can share. But if you post something about your cats and someone says, maybe you might try this to distract the cat from your keyboard, you might say something in answer but you never say how stupid the person is for answering and that you showed the answer to all the people near you and they laughed at how stupid the person answering is. You know how much people like being laughed at. Bye
Actually, I probably owe everyone here an apology for setting Cody off by trying to help him see that he is responsible for the choices he makes in life. I saw that he had posted this same exact thing in the Veterans Day thread earlier, and it just felt to me like he was disrespecting veterans and blaming a person that he knows nothing about for using vulgar language, instead of simply moving elsewhere if the person made him uncomfortable. Then he didn’t get any response in the Veterans Day thread, so he started a whole new thread here about the free meal and the vet, and acting the part of the victim instead of having compassion for a fellow vet who might have needed a friend to talk to that day. I just let it get to me and tried to nicely explain that it could have been handled differently, and that he had choices that he could make, and that started the whole snowball rolling down the hill and into an avalanche.
I've fallen into the same trap. We get set up, whether by design or by limited capacity....I'm still not sure which. I swing from compassion to anger...and sometimes back to compassion again, but the frequency of moving in that direction has greatly diminished. In my opinion, you owe nobody an apology. I think everyone here makes allowances for folks across the spectrum, to our universal credit. But none of us is responsible for the behaviour of another. And some [apparently] are not responsible for their own behaviour. We either meet that obligation in our own lives, or it goes unmet. Just because you touch it does not mean you own it.
Simply put, I can afford my own food at a restaurant and would rather whatever I might have had for free go to someone who needs a nice meal and feel half human for a change. That doesn’t mean that I hold a grudge against ANY veteran who can afford the amenities and still wish to participate in those events but I’m just not one of them. Just like the “Stand Down’s” for veterans that happen all over the country, I do not need free clothes, free toiletries, free food etc because to me, I’d be taking it away from someone who needs it. Now, back to the Cody thing, yes, I did question his mental stability in a more colloquial manner, albeit, under a stressed condition so to that end I do humbly apologize for such an outburst. To be truthful, I do not believe for a second that Cody is “off his rocker” but I do definitely believe that he needs much better guidance from someone else other than his relatives. Like the food at Applebee’s on Vets Day, VA counselors are free.
To me, your post was perfectly worded. A reply from “ Dear Abby” would not have been better than yours. Cody really didn’t want to know what anyone else would do. He was just on a rant and the rest of his posts prove that out.
What John describes is the same thing that's been my experience...Even before Judy died I was doing take out so often that wait staff knew me and spent time with me.
I don't have anyone on ignore and decided I should challenge myself by being able to read things and pass up replying if I knew the poster was fishing for support for a pet agenda or posting a lightly veiled topic that would lead to another pet topic that others were sick of hearing about. I made my post yesterday giving the Applebees layout so everyone could see the situation and tried to respectfully answer the question posed in the title. I saw that Cody had many options considering the layout of Applebees and his story raised many questions. Was he sitting next to the young vet or was his wife? Why did either of them continue to talk to the vet if he was so offensive? Was his wife talking across Cody to the vet? Also, the noise level is deafening in Applebees if it is crowded, especially at the bar where the music is loudest and folks have loosened tongues due to alcohol consumption. If they are there waiting on food, then they are no doubt drinking on empty stomachs and maybe louder than usual and using language that they might not have used if one sitting by them was offended, except the alcohol has taken control of their tongue. With just the factor of noise in mind, I would have avoided the entire place even if they gave me a free meal and offered me $100 to attend. I have never understood anyone that purposely puts themselves in an unpleasant situation just to get something free. The only reason Zek loved to go to those free veterans or first responders dinners was that he wanted to tip the waiters and waitresses in a liberal fashion. Plus he loved to visit with vets. He knew that on these free meal days, many won't leave a tip. The staff works their butts off for a low wage and low tips. We always went at the least crowded times and always were involved in wonderful conversations with vets of all ages and always left tips equal to the cost of the meal and most times in excess. , .
Thanks, Al... but I believe each of us is unique. To get along we need to live and let live. Most sensible people would simply distance themselves from a situation they found disagreeable.