Yesterday evening, we had dinner at a local Applebee's Restaurant. Instead of standing and waiting for a table, we grabbed two seats at the bar. A 30 year old guy sat down beside me who had been a Seabee aka Navy Construction. He was telling wife and I that he loved working with steel and working on his Camero car. Loved racing other vehicles on city streets whenever he could and loved to drink. After he said that, I was starting to wonder about him. But, then, the real problem started. He started using the "F" word while talking to me and my wife. I told him that we don't like the word, but he kept forgetting that. He told us how he didn't like being single and I mentioned to him about his language. Each time I told him about his language, he said "I'm sorry" and then said it again. The place was too crowded to move and I was almost done with my dinner, so we decided to stay put where we were. Finally, after reminding him about using the "F" word, we left. I could imagine him talking to another old Veteran, that was with his wife, and what that Veteran might say. A number of old Vietnam Era Vets don't use the "F" word and sure don't like having their wife hear it in a restaurant!
That was definitely a dreadful dinner experience for your poor Wife to have to go through, @Cody Fousnaugh . You ask how I think this should be handled, here is what I think. !. You decided that you would eat dinner in the bar where you knew people would be drinking. 2. You decided not to ask the waitress to seat you elsewhere even after you realized the man next to you was being drunk and vulgar. 3. You decided to stay and converse with him, even though he was using very vulgar language, thus forcing your wife to have a dreadful dinner experience. You should apologize to Wife, and then take her out to a really NICE place for a dinner that she can enjoy and not have to listen to a drunk conversation with her meal.
Yvonne, I just let my wife read your reply and she said to me "the lady is completely wrong!". First, the bar was in a restaurant where a Veterans Day dinner was being served free to all Veterans. The bar was right in the middle of the restaurant and those that didn't want to stand and wait for a table, sat at the bar, like we did. Second, the young man wasn't drunk, but was having one beer after another. The only vulgar word he said was the "F" word, but we didn't like hearing that anyway. Actually, my wife was talking to this young man quite a bit............it wasn't just me! So, sorry to say this, Yvonne, both of us say "you're so, so wrong!"
So, (again, and again) , you asked for how someone would handle something, just so you could come back with an insulting put down ? Why do you think that people do not enjoy responding to your threads, if all you want to do is post something and then ridicule anyone who responds ? And now, you are defending the whole episode that you wrote first to tell us how awful it was when it happened and you were distressed about it and asking what other people thought about it. 1. Now you wanted to be at the bar where people were drinking. 2.You and Wife were indeed enjoying the conversation. 3.You told us that there was a real problem ; but now you say I am “so wrong” for thinking that you said that. This was just another episode of you telling us that you were victimized by the person using the F-word. Playing the victim card does not reflect well on anyone as being a Manly Man, Cody.
You simply don't understand, so you, and anyone else, can insult wife and I by telling us this was all of our fault. Completely wrong.............completely!
Looks like I walked into another "den of wolves" again, as a rabbit. I truly don't know WHY I stay in this forum. Right when I think things are getting better, I ask a question and get completely ridiculed over it. Guess I really don't belong in this forum!
I think Yvonne was being very sympathetic towards your story. Frankly, If I am sitting next to someone at a bar, or anywhere that a person or persons were being obnoxious and foul-mouthed, I certainly wouldn't engage in any conversation with them. I would ignore them, and eat my meal and leave! Or ask the waitress or bartender for a "take out" plate or box because you weren't liking the atmosphere. I certainly have got up and left an establishment before when I was not happy with the service, or the rudeness of others. I would suggest stay home and cook, or order take out, if you are offended so easily by the world. I would!
Ok, look at this thread this way.................I asked "What would you do?", NOT "what should have we done?" IOW, asking about you, not us!! I did mention to him about his language and he kept saying, "I'm sorry", but, off and on, kept saying the word. It's got to be extremely hard, just like smoking can be, to stop doing something that someone requests you stop. When a person is so, so use to using a certain vulgar word, having a person ask them not to use it while talking to them, simply isn't going to happen. The guy wasn't saying this word in every since sentence, but we still didn't like hearing it. So, to a point, he didn't want to, and couldn't, honor our request. This place was a restaurant/bar that was serving a Veteran's Day dinner for free to me. The place wasn't, and I repeat, wasn't, just a bar. As far as my wife is concerned, she just told me, "this is why I have no interest in any forum, including the one you are on. These people are constantly criticizing you, and me, for one thing or another." So, being that my wife is absolutely/100% right.....................I'm going to do some thinking.
Too much drama Cody. 1. My wife is a lady and I, as a gentleman would under no circumstances sit my lady at a bar (BAR!!) where the unexpected will generally happen. 2. If in the event that there were one or more people at the bar using foul language, refer to #1. 3. If we were sitting elsewhere and someone at the bar was using abusive language, I would ask management to handle the problem. 4. If for some extreme reason we were sitting at a bar and the same happened to us as it happened to you and I asked the same question on this forum, I wouldn’t get mad at the folks who attempted to answer my question. 5. Funny thing but as I re-read your post (#5), you stated that your wife kept talking to the guy which leads me to believe that it wasn’t the guy who upset you but the fact that your wife kept talking to him. Being the rough cowboy and cowgirl types, I’m sure your wife and you has heard much worse at the Casinos, Rodeos and taverns you guys go to so it leads me to the only conclusion that I can come up with. Simple and sweet….you got jealous!!
Well, I just read your reply to my wife and she is still laughing her butt off. Her comment was, "these people are nuts!". Well, I don't think that way, but seeing your reply here, she sure thinks that. Remember, I've had hip replacement and simply can't stand for long periods of time. And, my wife don't like standing either. So, sitting at the bar was our only option, other than leaving and I missing out on a free dinner. Like I said, and will continue to say.............most of the members in this forum doesn't understand and doesn't want to understand us, so............just why do I bother?? Like I stated in my last reply, "I have to think about things concerning this forum and some of the members."
One more thing, Cody. Like it or not, the young Navy Veteran man had every right to be there too. The meal wasn't just for you, but all Veterans. You can't control how other people talk or act. Maybe you and your wife should have waited to get a table. People sitting at a bar are usually more "talkative." When you ask others what they would do or what their opinion is on a topic, you can be very rude and defensive in your reply to others when they disagree with you, or when you don't get the response that you want. To me, that is the same as "flipping" someone off and you are just trying to start an argument. I am going to take my own advice now and not engage in conversation with people who are rude.
Even in some fine dining restaurants, there are still places around where it is unlawful for a woman to sit at the bar or even go to the bar to get a drink. She has to be served and yes, there’s a reason for it although most women do not like the reasons. A bar is a bar is a bar no matter where or in what kind of place it is located. Stuff happens so either don’t sit there or grin and bear it. Now, so far as your wife goes, no one here even knows her much less has criticized her. Everything you write is on you, not her and everything you write that you say that your wife said, is hearsay. There’s a reason why non-members can’t write on this forum so the best way we can get to know her is for her to join in on her own but since she won’t do that, it’s all on you, not her.