Have You Ever Tried Online Dating?

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Sandy Wood, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. Sandy Wood

    Sandy Wood Veteran Member
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    With the younger generation it seems everything in relationships has got to be online. They follow the many social networks in search of information and contacts with friends, but what about us older folks how do we find our way back into the dating scene?

    As someone who does not drink I feel uncomfortable going to bars and although, I have lots of women friends but most are still married or not interested in dating so getting tips on finding men in my town was not working.
    So I decided to be brave and join a online dating site. First off they wanted a picture so I found one where I was a bit younger with short hair and sunglasses which made me look interesting. Then I waited for someone to like me and then email me onsite.

    At first I was flooded with men who thought I was beautiful. Everyone who contacted me was polite and nice looking, but also lived to far away. Even for casual dating I needed someone closer than 100 miles away. But as time went on I did meet a few men, but nothing or should I say no one that I would want to see on a regular basis or even think about kissing.

    Then it smoothed out to a few men who lived closer and sent me their phone numbers. So since I joined the site for only 3 months I feel I got my money's worth and now have a few good men to date if I choose to do so.
    So my question to you is have you tried it and did you like it? Did you find true love or were they a big disappointment? Did you meet any creepy or crazy people?
    Will you share your thoughts and opinions on this subject?
     
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  2. Corie Henson

    Corie Henson Veteran Member
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    This may not be applicable to most of us but I know of a couple who met in Facebook and eventually became lovers. Unfortunately, the first date led to something serious and after that the gilr discoverd the truth that the guy is married and, oh, that usual soap opera. That's the reason why I advise the youth against online dating or even meeting people online. For friendship is okay but beyond that, I guess it's not good anymore. My niece has a suitor who comes to their house often. For several months now, the family of my niece already know the suitor since they meet him often. But for online dating, I don't know, I cannot say the same.
     
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  3. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    No, I don't think my wife would appreciate it if I did that. Although, I suppose that, in a way, I did. My wife and I met online, although not through a dating service. We were both working for the Open Directory Project, now known as DMOZ, which was the directory that Google was using at the time. The ODP had internal forums where we discussed directory issues, but we also had off-topic areas where we got to know one another, to some extent, and I still have several friends whom I've never met, but worked with for several years online. The ODP had periodic meet ups where those who could would travel to San Francisco, Houston, or some other place around the world, and get to actually meet one another, so there were some that I have met in person. My wife and I felt like we knew one another for several years before we met, and later married. We've been married for sixteen years now.
     
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  4. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    I have not tried any of those match maker services but I did meet my husband on the Internet through a Christian Forum. It was not a dating site but I know a few couples who actually met through this Forum and married just as my husband and I did.

    One of my sisters has had this experience though...and since she has shared so much of it with me...I feel like I have been there. That saying: "You have to kiss alot of frogs before you kiss your prince." sums up those dating services to me. The stories my sister would share with me both horrified me and fasinated me at the same time. Yet those frogs are now a thing of the past for my sister and she is engaged to her prince....and whether they end up living happily ever after...remains to be seen.
     
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  5. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I have but not recently. I did meet a few and had a few dates but for some reason or other I felt no chemistry.

    There was one that could have worked, he was the nicest guy and we were getting to know each other. I felt no sparks but everything else about him was perfect. Then my ex boyfriend who had moved back to Ohio wanted to come back to me and I said yes. (Dumb). So that lasted about a year and we split again. I called the other guy but found out he had died! :( He was only 57 and very active and healthy. He walked 5 miles every morning on his treadmill in his bedroom and that's where he died of a heart attack.

    That was the last online dating I did.
     
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  6. Ruby Begonia

    Ruby Begonia Supreme Member
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    No, I never have. Never motivated to do so after dating for awhile after my divorce and finally realized it could never be what I wanted. I never really got over my ex.
     
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  7. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    Don't mean to pry, @Ruby Begonia but I'm nosey. :) Have you been divorced a long time?
     
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  8. Ruby Begonia

    Ruby Begonia Supreme Member
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    Yes.
     
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  9. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    I met my wife thru a Personal Ad I placed in a local magazine. This wasn't the first Personal Ad thing I'd ever done, but this time it really worked for me. The Personal Ad didn't have a photo of me, but I described my looks completely truthful and I emphasized that I had no tattoos or body piercings........of which my wife loved. The ladies I had met before her, and didn't work out, were at nightclubs and Personal Ad that I had placed in a Horse Magazine. The ladies I met in nightclubs loved to go to the nightclub with their girlfriends on the weekends and, for me, for a date, a movie and/or dinner was my preference over going to a nightclub. These ladies wanted more of a Western dancer than someone who knew about horses, riding, roping and was involved in the rodeo scene. I could definitely dance, but being at a rodeo was more fun for me. Wife and I fit together like a thread put thru a needle eye the first time.........perfect!

    As for the online dating websites, I just don't know. However, I do know, like on Facebook, not everyone puts a current photo of themselves on and, when it comes to meeting the person, can present a problem and sometimes a shock. Some things are also not told completely correct either. Like, if someone smokes just a little, they will list that they don't smoke at all. Then, after meeting the person that seen their online dating profile, they will politely ask "do you mind if I have a cigarette. I'm kind of nervous and this is the first time for me on an online dating service." The other person goes, in their mind or possibly out loud, "didn't your profile say that you were a non-smoker?". Well, this spells "awkward" also.

    Bottom Line is this: I'm darn glad I'm married and that I married RIGHT!
     
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  10. Bonnie Thomas

    Bonnie Thomas Veteran Member
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    Glad things worked out so well for you Cody. I would guess many don't have that good fortune.
    I wouldn't know though, as I've never tried any of the options you mention, and really have no thoughts along that line.
    My life is simple - think I'll keep it that way!:)
     
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  11. Krissttina Isobe

    Krissttina Isobe Veteran Member
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    I do online dating too. I look for the senior sites and found one. I don't believe in paying for you could go to a party and meet someone nice and you don't have to pay, so I gravitate to the free dating sites. There is one bad experience I got he seemed to be real and an FBI agent at that so he claimed. He wasn't an FBI agent and was just a scammer using a dead FBI agent's name! I did meet 2 nice guys and they just wanted to be friends too. Mostly like you just hoping to meet some nice gent there who is descent and kind to marry.
     
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  12. Arlene Richards

    Arlene Richards Veteran Member
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    Back in the late 90s when I first got internet, I used to browse the dating sites. I even created and posted an ad. Got quite a few replies, but they were from men who lived quite a distance away and it seemed they just wanted to got back and forth with email and chat. Or a few got explicit way too early. I also found that some people lie about their looks, profession, marital/relationship status (but that’s not unique to online dating). However, the cloak of anonymity allows them to stretch things out. I’ve heard and read some horror stories about people posting a picture of someone else or using dating sites to stalk people or try to scam them for money. Or, sometimes people don’t take rejection well and an online flirtation can result in someone showing up at the front door or in the lobby of someone’s office. :eek:Yikes.

    I did connect with someone nice in a chat room (remember those?). We emailed, and actually met in person. He came to my city for a conference and we had dinner a couple of times. There was some chemistry, but it really didn’t go anywhere but we remained friends.

    I know of several marriages which resulted from online dating. But I have someone in my live now (did not meet via online dating) and things are where we both want them to be.
     
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  13. Sandy Wood

    Sandy Wood Veteran Member
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    Thank you for sharing. When I had first started the online dating I heard about some men who were being blackmailed after talking with and exchanging messages online. We all hear about the scams where you talk with someone and then suddenly they are asking for money and some folks are so blinded by the loving attention they are getting, that they give these men large amounts of money only to find out later the men were not who they said they were or worse they were from another country. But back to the news I read it was about men who had sent nude pictures of themselves and then the so called ladies threated to post the pictures all over the internet and on Facebook. So some sent the money and only one notified police.

    The free sites don't offer the perks that paid sites do, like a numbered user name and even protected phone or texting services. If someone gets rude or nasty you can block them from communicating with you. Don't tell anyone where you live and meet them during the day at a busy restaurant. Don't get in their car until your sure about them and don't put them in your car, as either way it can be very dangerous for a woman alone with a stranger. Don't give anyone your home phone number. I use a cheap cell phone that does not give out my full name. And yes, someone from your town could see your picture and identify you, but that could happen anywhere. Local dating is good but behavior can be unpredictable local or not. I was very lucky to meet only normal nice men and I found it easy to weed out those that were not truthful or were only looking for sex.

    But it took me awhile to feel relaxed about being out there again after so many years of not dating. Times have changed since my first dates in high school and as a young woman. It is a new experience for an older lady in this day and age to start all over again. Is that the way you would feel?
     
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