Have We Made The Right Move

Discussion in 'Places I Have Lived' started by Honey Gee, Nov 12, 2016.

  1. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    I thought I would update you guys on or new home.

    My husband and I thought very long and hard about going to live in an over fifties community. After all at age of 62 very fit and healthy surely I was still too young to go and live there permanently. Also I never wanted to burden the kids with, well who are the folks going to live with. You or me. Plus we chose to live abroad.

    We had the obligatory Friday morning visits and PR routine and had met some of the residents who seemed happy but was that just a conspiracy theory ;-)

    You get to work out quite quickly the I am in charge brigade, which I am happy to report is practically zero.

    The idea of this community was to run it similary to a kibbutz and we all help in someway to run the community. Whether it be the bar and numerous entertainment that is laid on, the gardening. All your maintenance is covered by your rent, painting, repairs etc .You do as little or as much as you want as some are limited. There are no sneaky remarks either if you don't. After all none of us know folks health situation.

    Our community is a a real community. We chat over a coffee or have a chat by the pool. Or you sit in a quite area. I even discovered this morning that we have been roped in to do a magic trick ove the Christmas Season . My hubby the magician and me the glamorous assistant with a pinch of great humour added. You have ex musicians who reside here giving free nights of entertainment. An ex builder helping you with that darned crooked shelf. Everyone puts themselves out to help you.

    For me the fact that you have the added bonus of never feeling as though you are on your own. You can if you want but the fulfilment is at an age we should be enjoying our lives and having fun is a great plus for me.

    Why? Because we earned it.

    For us a great decision.
     
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  2. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Pleased to hear it Honey - sounds bloomin marvellous to me
    Sadly can't say the same for my situation, probably because we're not situated in Spain, where people seem to
    be happier
    Viva Espana ! :)
     
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  3. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    That sounds absolutely marvelous for a senior community, and also like a place where you will feel welcomed, and enjoy your life there. How wonderful that you are already invited to participate in the holiday entertainment with the magician act ! Any one who doesn't know you before that ,will certainly know about you after that bit of fun.
    While I do enjoy having our own house and yard, I think that if we had to live in an apartment, or even a house in a different setting, that a senior community would be what I would want, too. Years ago, my (then) inlaws lived in a senior Mobile Home Park, and it was nice to visit them there. There were flowers everywhere, the homes were well-maintained, and since the only children were visitors, there was not a lot of noise from kids playing or any kind of vandalism that sometimes occurs with teenagers out being rebellious.
    It is harder to take care of the house and yard as we get older, and having an apartment with a smaller back yard would be okay, too, especially if there were an exercise area and swimming pool.
    Your community just sounds like the old-time kind of neighborhood where people knew each other and worked together to help one another, and that is rare in today's world, @Honey Gee .
     
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  4. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    @Yvonne Smith Got it in one Yvonne that was our thoughts as well. Yes it's smaller but you will be surprised how much you can cram or hide in a smaller area. Plus we have a storage facility on site. We are an aging generation and all that goes with it. :)
     
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  5. Diane Lane

    Diane Lane Very Well-Known Member
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    It sounds as if y'all found a good fit in your new community @Honey Gee. This statement you made really stood out to me: "There are no sneaky remarks either if you don't. After all none of us know folks health situation." - as someone with invisible or hidden disabilities, it would be nice to live in that type of place, where people didn't judge based out of ignorance, or misjudge due to a lack of, or inaccurate information. I'm happy to hear that the new place is working out. I know my mom has talked about selling her home and moving into a 55+ place, but I don't know if that will happen.
     
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  6. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    At 62 I do still feel a bit young even though there are people younger than us if that makes sense. I worked with in care profession with the elderly. Folk can feel isolated even living in a big town. Seniors often do not say preferring to shut up and put up.

    I think like a forum and this comment is not aimed at anyone on here. The ones who feel they are the leaders or organisers. I am experienced to deal with folk like that. My nature is happy go lucky anyway. Why stress.

    We have a chap here who has just had a brain haemorrhage and the ladies are fussing and fighting over him to make sure he is ok. I prefer to observe as I am retired from nursing but I just check by talking to him and offering encouragement.

    Today for example I want a quite day but nobody comments or I should say feels as though they need to comment.

    There is a strict criteria for entry. You are actually interviewed by the owners. If you don't fit into the ethos then you don't get in.

    Another thing this is not a care home either. You must have it in your mind to make other arrangements if your health starts to fail.

    We have a very happy active 85 year old in our community @Diane Lane
     
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  7. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    @Honey Gee My husband and I once looked into buying into a very nice Senior retirement mobile home park in Florida...but in the end decided at this time in our life we wanted to be near our grown children and the grandchildren here in Louisiana. Although we don't live like the Waltons (if you are familiar with that show that used to be on TV) we all have a strong sense of sharing our lives as much as possible with one another. As the grandkids get older and my daughters spend more time working outside the home it has become a lot harder to find those times to spend together. And although my five sisters and three brothers used to live here too, I am down to one brother here and the rest living in Florida, Georgia, and Texas. A few years ago my youngest daughter and her husband who are just beginning to have their kids moved to Texas because they were able to get the jobs they wanted there and not here. And ever since then I have been going back and forth on the train to help with their children so that they will know their Granny too. I will be 66 in February and I am starting to notice that as much as I love helping my daughter and spending time with my grandchildren...it is getting harder for me to make those back and forth trips and my body feels the strain of taking care of little ones too. I know that soon I will have to let go of this part of my life that brought me such joy in the past..and when I make that decision final it will mean the grandkids will not be in my life as often anymore either and life will go on for all of us. The question then remains: "Where do we want to spend our last years? Here in Lousiana, in Texas, or do we join my siblings in Florida or Georgia..or be pioneers and head out to some place new?"

    It must be a relief for you and your husband to have answered that question and I do hope y'all will have many happy years in your new home community. It will be interesting to hear from you as time goes by as to whether things stay the way they are now. :)
     
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  8. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    I understand all those sentiments @Babs Hunt.

    We have decided to stay for a year to see how it goes.

    Truthfully I sometimes feel too young at 62. I have always had a zest for life and wonder if it will be our forever home. Although I do love the other community neighbours.

    We will stay in Spain. We like the warmer weather. You have to put ourselves first. We both worked hard all our lives. So deserve a bit of us time.

    I will give you updates though.

    Do what feels right for you Babs. As we age things become harder. Make life easier for yourself not harder. X
     
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  9. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    I have lived for almost 66 years doing what I felt was right for me...I'm not going to stop doing that now. I just might have to do that right thing at a slower pace. :)
     
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  10. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    So true :) x
     
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  11. Tim Burr

    Tim Burr Well-Known Member
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    Enjoyed reading the OP and the replies, as this is a subject the wife and I discuss all the time now.
    We have been downsizing, giving the boys furniture, etc.
    I feel another move in our future.

    She reminded me about our move when I got orders to England and we sold all the appliance, furniture, etc. and moved.
    I knew the appliance won't work there and the furniture probably won't work out.

    In 2009, we sold the house, packed up and moved here to Nashville.
    Quickest decision I have ever made. She mentioned it in October and we moved in December.

    Love being close to both of our sons, but they understand that we have a travel bug that can't be contained sometimes.

    I am sure one of us will mention a place and we will probably decide quickly.
    It seems to be our way...
     
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  12. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    @Tim Burr I feel life is still an adventure but aware of us aging as well.

    I never wanted to be a burden on the kids either. We upsticks and left the UK.

    I just feel an ageing population has a duty to still enjoy life but be aware of our limitations. No matter how fit and young we feel.

    I like the security of a gated community and people who have similar interests and health issues comforting.

    When you have had enough of the old folk you simply walk out to the town :)
     
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  13. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    @Tim Burr When I was growing up with my eight siblings my family moved every couple of years at least, my dad was in the Military and when he retired from that he became a "traveling salesman" and again we kept moving constantly. It didn't bother me much then because I had all those siblings everywhere we moved so home was to me wherever we all lived. But there was one draw back to constantly moving that has affected me to this day...and that is there wasn't the time to grow deep friendships with others. There are people who can just enjoy what I call "surface friendships" but I am the kind of person who needs "dive deep friendships" and it takes time together and a mutual nurturing of the friendship to have the dive deep ones.

    After my dad passed away we moved back here to Louisiana where my mom and dad were born and where most of their Family still lived. It was the first time we stayed in one place and I found I finally had a place I could plant myself in and not be uprooted. And I finally got to make a few of those dive deep friendships that my soul cherishes. Then I married and my husband became that "traveling salesman" who was always seeking another promotion so again my life was in a cycle of constant moving. I didn't have the time to really concern myself with this though, as I was to busy raising our babies, packing and unpacking, etc. Later, as the kids were in school and I had more time to myself, I realized I was in the same cycle as when I was growing up....constantly planting myself and then being uprooted. And I found I really wanted one place that I could call home and never have to uproot myself from that place again.

    And yet the one thing we cannot stop in our lives is change...it comes whether we want it or not, whether we fight it or not, and whether we accept it or not. My marriage ended after my girls were grown. I thought I would stay single and just love my girls and my grandchilden, etc. but God had another plan for my life and while I thought my life was going to stay rooted in Louisiana, the next season of my life was living in Jacksonville, FL. After almost 3 years of long distance getting to know each other and a few meet in the middle visits to get to know each other face to face we knew we had found together "the rest of our lives". So I told my girls to come choose the things they wanted out of my home, downsized the rest, and loaded up my car and drove myself to Jacksonville, FL. We married in St. Augustine, FL and spent five years living in Jacksonville. I had planted myself again and the roots were digging in until one day out of the blue my husband tells me that the God we believe in had told him in a dream to move us back to Louisiana. I didn't believe him at first, and honestly he didn't want to believe what he had heard God tell him either because he had lived in Jacksonville most of his life and he had a job there he loved and his two children and two grandchildren. And he didn't want to give up any of those things to move to Louisiana. So he told me even though God told him to move us...he just couldn't do it. I told him that if God really told him to do that then God wasn't going to let him get away with disobeying Him. And He didn't, first God moved my husband's daughter out of Florida, and then his son and his two grandchildren...and then He took the job my husband loved and made it so miserable for him that by the time my husband had the second dream to move us to Louisiana...my husband called in to work and took the day off and went to get packing boxes and within a month we were moved to Louisiana! :) And this has been our home for over 7 years now and my husband and I have both planted deep roots here among my side of our Family. Since moving here we have been blessed with 6 new grandchildren and have shared in Family togetherness with my siblings and their families and my children and their families that we both cherish. I have always had a wonderful family life even with all the moving, but my husband had a terrible childhood and didn't really know the meaning of Family. And that to me is why God told him to move us back here. Because here my husband has experienced the love and intimacy of Family...a gift of healing and restoration from our heavenly Father.

    Yet once again change is happening all around us. Once where I was the only sibling moving from Louisiana, now all my siblings but one have moved to other states. And a couple of years ago (as mentioned in my earlier post) my youngest daughter and her husband moved to Texas where they now live with their two children who were born there. The change is not coming just in moves though, it is coming in our Family life as all of my childrens' lives become busier and they have less and less time to have Family gatherings. I know they have to live their own lives just as their own children will do one day. I am thankful for all the time we did have as Family and for the time we still will have whenever we can all find a time that will work for everyone..but I know too that it is time once again to start nurturing my life once again too. Will my life include another move? I don't know...I just know I think of moving because it is hard to live so close to your children and know they don't have much time for you in their lives anymore or for Family gatherings. I think to myself that it would be easier if we moved away and I could justify why we aren't able to find Family time much anymore. Family means so much to me.....always has and always will...but lately I feel I am losing my Family and I feel sad and lost in so many ways. I'm entering into a new season of my life...but I'm going into this one kicking and screaming because even though I may not be moving physically...I feel as though I am being uprooted all over again and this time I really don't want to be replanted.

    @Honey Gee I'm sorry if I've steered your thread away a bit...forgive me for this...it just came pouring out this morning at what @Tim Burr said.
     
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  14. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    I agree with this 100%! :) I wanted to ask you if you have ever lived here in the United States or visited?
     
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  15. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    Everyone these are such fascinating stories of real life. Such interesting reading

    Thank you for contributing.
     
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  16. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Well-Known Member
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    Hi @Babs Hunt

    Yes have been lucky enough to visit New York, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon and Hawaii. Only on holiday.

    We did consider Florida as our forever home. We were a bit frightened of the gun culture in the States. If you upset somebody it's credible you could get shot.

    I love Americans though. I found you polite and actually take an interest in folk. The UK not all tend, to be so warped up in themselves or too busy. That's why we moved to Spain.

    Even in New York I chatted to many interesting people.
     
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  17. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    Well that's amazing @Honey Gee Here I have lived in America all my life and never been to one of those places you came here on Holiday to visit. :) And I understand about the gun concerns....that is getting to be a major problem all over America now. All my children have guns and go to the shooting range...they have them because they feel they may have to protect their Families. I hate that they feel the need to have those guns...but I do believe it is a real need with the way things are going here now. I still have my trusty baseball bat just in case...that will have to do because I can see myself hitting someone with a bat to defend myself...but I can't see myself shooting anyone. So where you live and have lived there is no gun problem or the need for them?

    I am guessing in Spain you found people who take time to enjoy life and each other? I like Florida, the warm weather, the beautiful beaches, etc. But I also like green, wooded areas with lakes. In fact, I would rather live in a place where I just have to walk out to the end of my back yard and sit on the pier and fish anytime I wanted too. I love fishing...and I love eating the fish I catch too.
     
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    Last edited: Dec 4, 2016
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  18. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    The media makes that out to be a lot different than it is. Most gun violence takes place in our larger cities, where the strongest gun control laws are in place. A lot of people have guns here in Maine, far more than the statistics show because, until recently, no paperwork was involved in buying a gun, yet I think the police shoot more people here than citizens do, but that is also a very small number.

    What @Babs Hunt says is often true though, and probably in other countries as well. We often don't visit the tourist places nearest where we live. I grew up in Michigan, yet I picked up a tourist pamphlet highlighting the top 21 places to see in Michigan, and found that I had been to only two of them -- Mackinac Island and the Mackinac Bridge.
     
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