Finding A Friend

Discussion in 'People I Have Known' started by Ken Anderson, Jun 8, 2018.

  1. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    How many of you have decided to see if you could find someone from your past online? I know some of you have because you've mentioned it in other threads here.

    Facebook makes it easy as long as both parties are on Facebook, and I have found a lot of people who I had gone to elementary or high school with, worked with at various jobs, or who I was friends with in different places where I have lived, but whom I would surely have never heard from again otherwise.

    It's harder for people who aren't on Facebook, and harder yet for those who aren't even online. I had lost my son for several years when we both moved before the Internet was a thing. His sons found me on Facebook, as Roy has never even used a computer, let alone been online. They had first found my website, in which I mention their father more than once, but I hadn't noticed the email they sent to me there, as I get so much spam that I don't always look carefully before deleting stuff. Knowing I was online though, they found me on Facebook.

    That kind of surprised me because I had one of the early computers, a Coleco Adam, while he was still living with me, and he had an Atari when he was a kid.

    Then there was a friend who I rented a house with when I was eighteen and nineteen. I hadn't seen him since the late 1970s and, of course, I had moved to several locations in several states since then, and not only had I changed jobs, but I completely changed occupations a couple of times. Given my common name, I was impressed when his wife contacted me on Facebook to ask if I was the Ken Anderson she was looking for.

    I had looked for him several times, with no success. He had moved from California, where we knew one another, to Texas, although I don't know if we were both living in Texas at the same time. It turned out that he too doesn't use a computer and isn't online, which is why I couldn't find him.
     
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  2. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Well-Known Member
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    Ken, I am not on Facebook specifically because I don't want people to find me. I am not hiding from anyone in particular, but I don't want to be bothered by past acquaintances. For the most part, if I wanted to keep in touch with people, I have maintained contact. There are a couple people whom I would like to contact, but one has deliberately gone incognito and the other moves often and maintains at least two homes. I don't know for sure that either of these people are still alive, but I believe they both still are walking the earth.
     
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  3. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I am Facebook friends with 2 friends from school. One my best friend since age 10, the other one Ive known since 8th grade.

    I have looked up others from high school but didn't friend them.

    Sadly one died recently. He moved from Pittsburgh to San Diego and was a dentist. His name was Jefferson Jones and he was one of the black friends I had.

    Most of my friends remained in Pittsburgh.
     
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  4. Tim Burr

    Tim Burr Very Well-Known Member
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    @Don Alaska I am the same way, never bothered to get a Facebook account.
    You summed it up as well for me.

    My wife will mentioned that 'so and so' from one of my old units, contacted her
    and I may reply if they leave an email address.

    Like getting a message on my phone.

    Call me.

    I don't message well ( as my kids found out )
    I tend to write a 'book'; can't do those abbreviation things.
     
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  5. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    The rumor is that this is true of everyone in Alaska.
     
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  6. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Well-Known Member
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    Like I said before, people who move here are either running from something, or running to something. I was one of the latter. I had always wanted to move to Alaska and had a job offer in Ketchikan at one time, but when I checked on it (at the time), there were virtually NO available women in Ketchikan at the time. Not being someone who wants ONLY male company, I figured I would wait until I had a wife before I tried this state. After being married for almost 13 years, I found an opening that appealed to me and moved, lock, stock, and barrel to the outer reaches of Alaska and have lived in the state ever since.

    There are many others here who are hiding from something--ex-spouses, criminal records, bankruptcies and business failures, etc., but they usually leave everyone alone and expect to be left alone. There are also many folks here who were stationed here in the military, and either stayed at separation, or returned here when they left the service.

    Again, we have strayed from the topic....
     
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  7. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    Alaska was one of the places I could have moved to when I was younger.
     
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  8. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Active Member
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    I do it a lot, just out of curiosity, and when I need an excuse to procrastinate. It's much more difficult to find females, because they get married and change their last names.

    I grew up in Ohio, some 400 miles away from where I live now, as the crow flies. I discovered that our high school valedictorian became a dentist, and lives less than 25 miles away from me now. We were never friends, so I didn't bother to try and get in touch with him.
     
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  9. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    The acquaintences I have searched for are all dead.
    Frank
     
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  10. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Veteran Member
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    I'm one of those that have searched for people. I never had any high school friends, I dropped out in the tenth grade but I did search for a couple of GIs I served in the military with? Never found either. I'm on Facebook but haven't used in in a while. I don't like it that Facebook makes it so difficult to get off and delete your account. I don't mind being found for I'm a social animal. I see nothing wrong or unusual with others in the world developing their own Internet or communication system, particularly those who want keep out some western social or political interactions? In fact, I don't know why Western Europe don't block Facebook and other media.
     
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  11. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    I started a thread on my high school Facebook page asking for the year of graduation and where they are living now, which helps people who might be curious, but not necessarily ready to make contact with someone. I know that I am interested in knowing where people are sometimes, even when I don't care to friend them on Facebook.
     
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  12. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I have friends on Facebook from Eastern Europe and a few in Western Europe.

    I also have a friend (actually a neighbor and friend of my daughter) who moved to China 5 yrs ago because of her husband's job.

    He had a top position at Dole...anyway, China will sometimes block internet access for them. Only see her post very rarely and it's usally when she's back in the states visiting.

    They are Korean....she does love China though.and she also works there...her field is history of Asian Art.

    She's very talented and has a black belt in Tae Kwon do. She's in her 50's but looks like she's 25! :)
     
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  13. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Very Well-Known Member
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    I found a woman I had wanted to reconnect with who I knew when I was in another country. I never found her on facebook but on another website. This was about the time my mother's health took a dive and I just never kept in contact with her. Again. It was good to know she was doing well. But the past is the past and I guess for me it needs to stay there. She was from Great Britain.
     
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  14. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Greeter
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    I enjoy talking to people I knew when I was a child, particularly those whom I had had no contact with until recently, as well as those who I knew, but didn't know well as a child because of age differences that mattered more to children than to adults.
     
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  15. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Veteran Member
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    Nope. Like @Frank Sanoica, I have no one to look up. The only past friends that I “think” might still be alive are a couple of x-wives and like I wrote, they are past friends with an emphasis on Past.

    I’m happy with the occasional and very few internet friends I have because I can keep everyone at arms length. There is one lady in England however, whom I often chat with and once, when she needed some counseling we used skype a couple of times so she could put a real face behind the person she was speaking with.
     
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  16. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Greeter
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    I guess I have a story about this one.
    I actually found an old lost friend online, after many years of searching google for clues. We had been friends back when our kids were growing up, and I was still married to the kid’s dad.
    About the same time that my ex and I ended up getting divorced, she and her husband were going to move to the country ; so we just lost track of each other.
    Eventually,(years later) I found an obituary for her husband in the Spokane paper, and it gave me a rough idea of where they had moved to before he passed away, but not enough information to actually try and contact my friend. Then, I found part of an email, I think with MSN, and it said for a dollar or so, it would give me the rest of the email and send her a letter from me.
    It looked enough like it might actually be Sherry’s email, so I spent the $1 and they sent her an email explaining who I was and asking if she was my lost friend.
    At first, she thought I was one of her grandkids playing a trick on her, but she wrote back anyway, and it turned out to actually be her.
    I was elated !

    After that, we spent time writing back and forth and catching up on all of the back stories of our Iives. At some point, she asked what had become of my ex, and I gave her his email, and said that his girlfriend had left him, he was living alone, and I was sure that he would love to hear from her again, if she wanted to email him.
    Before the end of that year, they had decided to get married, to my surprise.
    This was all well and good; but then she wrote and told me that he was HER husband now, and she didn’t want me to ever see or speak with him, and when it was a family-type function, she guarded him and kept him secluded most of the time.
    Because of her jealousy, it ended up that our friendship just fell apart, which hurt me really badly, and there was no need for that to happen that I could see.
    Before she died, she called me from the hospital and said how much she missed me and our friendship, and that helped a lot; but by then, she was dying, and it was just too late .
     
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  17. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    I found my husband's half sister and her children on Facebook. Neither he nor his brother had any idea where she or her kids were since she stole a bunch of money from their Mom and took off for who knows where with her then boyfriend. When their Mom was dying she kept talking about how she wished she could talk to her daughter one more time. So I found her...and they did get to see and talk to each other before my husband's Mom died. She and her children were at the funeral but after that she left and my husband and his brother only heard from her a couple of times when she wanted to know if her Mom had left her anything in her will. :(
     
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