Fathers & Sons, Both Seniors

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Ken Anderson, Sep 11, 2017.

  1. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    I haven't mentioned it here because it is an uneasy subject to discuss, and can get complicated, but I lost my son for about twenty-five years. When I left California for Texas in 1983, he was twenty and about to get married. He helped me move to Texas, and stayed with me there for a couple of weeks before going back to begin his married life in California.

    We were in touch for a while. I flew to California after he had his first son, and spent a week or so there, and we talked by phone.

    Then, I went back to school, changed careers, and was busy becoming a paramedic, then teaching paramedics, and learning to be a health inspector, building inspector, and fireman. I moved from Brownsville to Los Fresnos, changing my phone number.

    Then when I tried to call him to give him my new number and to talk, he had moved and changed his number as well. This was before the Internet. I drove to California once to see if I could find him but things has changed so much there, I only found one or two people I knew, and none of them was him.

    When Internet access became available, I was there, since I had been using computers since the early 1980s. I tried to find him online but couldn't. When I adopted him, he kept his last name since he was already in school under that name, so I tried calling people with that name in California, and even managed to track down his real father in Michigan, but he didn't know anything about him.

    I left messages for him in various places online, thinking that if he were ever to go online and search on his own name, he'd come across them. Then over time, I lost access to some of the places where I had left the messages, so they didn't even have current contact information.

    A few months ago, I got a message on Facebook from one of his sons, who is now an adult. He and his brother had been looking for me, hoping to find my before his father's birthday.

    My son is still married to the same person, raised two sons, and is still in California, a few towns away from where I had been living. He is only thirteen years younger than me, since I was 26 when he was 13, so I have friends younger than him now.

    He has had one heart attack and two strokes. Although he has recovered pretty well from the strokes, he is not able to work anymore, or do a lot of things. He has never been online, and has no interest in it, but we talk by phone often now. There's so much to catch up on.
     
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  2. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    What a wonderful story and a great thing that you found your son, and now you also have grandsons to expand your family ! Sometimes, the internet is just a blessing, and I think that it has helped a whole lot of people find relatives that they lost, or never even knew about, and this is one of those times.
    Thank you for sharing this with us. I remember you saying before that you had tried to find your son and were not able to, and this is a great ending to the story.
     
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  3. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
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    I am happy for you, Ken!;)
     
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  4. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Very Well-Known Member
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    @Ken Anderson
    Heart rending, Ken. The stuff of experiences had by very few during their lifetimes. While I believe you are considerably younger than I am, and I am therefore more enclosed by that age group of men where mental pain is commoner, I believe tears would be readily shed, as I did two days ago seeing off my nephew who will be leaving for his Marine Corps stint in Japan.

    Thank you for revealing such personal substance. Makes us all realize that no matter the strife, another somewhere has endured worse.
    Frank
     
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    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
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  5. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Veteran Member
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    #5
  6. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    Oh WoW!! What a wonderful ending.... congratulations @Ken Anderson , this must be like all your Christmases rolled into one, and to have the chance to get to know your now grown grandsons, and to know hey desperately wanted to know you too, must be an amazing feeling.

    So sorry to hear your son has had such serious health issues so young, but hopefully this will give you both the chance to get reunited for a long time to come.. thank you for sharing such a personal journey with us...
     
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  7. Kitty Carmel

    Kitty Carmel Well-Known Member
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    I'm glad you found each other again. Things can get so complicated.
     
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  8. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    It's so nice to hear there's a happy ending for you and your son @Ken Anderson. And some special blessings of grandsons too. :)
     
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  9. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Very Well-Known Member
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    :)happy days for you all!
     
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