Many of us had our children before there was an option to do otherwise. Some of us had children before we were really ready to become parents. So I was wondering how each of you handled the situation. I know it was easier for some than others, but each of us had to make decisions one way or the other. Did children come before you planned? How did you deal with the many changes that your children brought to your life. Did it work anything like what you thought it would.
My mother had a baby when she was in her late thirties and didn't want any more, but a year later she fell pregnant with me. This was in the 1950s when 40 was considered to be middle aged. She told me that a few months before turning 40, when she was seen out with her baby and was hugely pregnant with me, she received some disapproving looks from other women. It didn't turn out too well. I was not surprised to discover that my birth had not been planned. I always felt like an outsider and had a difficult relationship with my mother. Maybe that's why I never wanted children of my own and never had any.
Hello Ruth, I think that happened to many women in that time period. My mother had three children by three different husbands, and she never wanted to be a mother. After seeing the way my mother (didn't) handled the care of her children I wanted to grow up to be an old maid Librian. Well that didn't work out. I was married at 13, and a mother 11 months later. So I didn't have much choice about it. I had two sons, and I wouldn't change that for anything. They have both passed on, and I miss them unbelievably. Now at 63, I find myself childless and single, and now I will finally get to do some work in my local library. Life is never as we think it will be.
@Ina I. Wonder How sad that your sons are no longer with you. Being a mother so young, you must have been more like an older sister to them. I've worked in publishing and was in charge of a book shop. I hope you enjoy helping out in your local library as much as I enjoyed working with books.
Ruth, books have been my steady companion since I first walked into a school library at the age of seven. They had the greatest affect on my starving young mind, much more than anything or anyone. I think if we don't do something to keep libraries and book stores alive, future generations will be the greatest losers. Now, it seem that most great literature is in an abbreviated form
I have no idea what my parents used (or didn't) for birth control. I have 5 siblings with a 16 year span in age. Our mother was 21 when the eldest was born, and 37 when the youngest was. Regarding the topic: somewhere around 30 years ago I read an article in the newspaper about women in the Appalachia Mountains using a tea brewed from a wildflower (actually, it's an invasive weed) called Queen Anne's Lace. I have no idea how it works (we could likely guess it disrupts the cycle) or how the first woman discovered this, but apparently it was a common thing to use for the purpose...at least it was 30 years ago. I wonder if @Mary Stetler has heard of this use of this plant.
Nope. I went the old fashioned way--with drugs from the doctor. My mother recommended the Rythum method. Yeh right! Later, I found the best birth control method was to spend an hour of quality time with your children before bed. ; )