Alligator Shoes

Discussion in 'Tall Tales & Fabrications' started by Bobby Cole, Jan 23, 2015.

  1. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
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    I had an old Cajun friend come into my restaurant early one day, who looked like he had been drug through a knot hole. I asked him what had happened but he just shrugged, scooted out a bar stool and sat down while motioning for a drink without giving me much of an answer with the exception of saying two words: "alligator shoes." He guzzled down a couple more shots and then ordered a cold beer with an additonal shot of his favorite rye and then told me his story.

    He said that his wife of 35 years had always wanted a pair of alligator shoes. They didn't have a lot of money and even though Joe worked hard he didn't have the extra funds to buy some or even the time to go out and bag an alligator in order to solve the problem.

    He said he had to go to Lake Borne (just outside of New Orleans) to conduct some business when he hit a small two lane dirt road going around the lake. He said he was going a pretty good speed when he saw a dream come true going slowly across the road. A 7 foot alligator just sleepily and slowly crawling along, trying to get to other side. All Joe could think about was getting his pretty wife some alligator shoes. Yup, he was going to able to make her a happy woman, and we know what happens when mammy is happy!
    He said he stepped on the gas of his Louisiana Cadillac (pick up truck) and hit that alligator just perfect. He didn't want to skuff it up too much. It would be a shame to give his wife some beat up pair of alligator shoes.
    He then stopped a few feet after hitting the alligator and leaped out of the truck running full tilt at the beast to finish the job the truck had started. He jumped on the gator like he was a pro wrestler looking for the WWF championship. They fought for the longest time but Joe, a tough old man, finally won the match. He told me he then got up and brushed himself off and examined his humongous catch. That's when he realized the sad finish to his tale. That alligator was so poor he didn't have any shoes either!
     
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    Last edited: Jan 23, 2015
  2. Richard Paradon

    Richard Paradon Well-Known Member
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    Thank you Bobby! You really sucked me in with this one! I should have known better just because of the forum title, but I can be a bit gullible!
     
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  3. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Veteran Member
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    Thanks for the funny tale.
     
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  4. Avigail David

    Avigail David Well-Known Member
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    Hawr, hawr, hawr! Just like the folktales we read: witty, fascinating and mysteriously humorous. :-D
     
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  5. Magalina Lilis

    Magalina Lilis Active Member
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    I agree. What a funny tale. Speaking of alligators, when I am down in Florida, I see them all the time. You would think that I would be sue to seeing them, but nope. It just gives me the chills. Last month, I was on a bike ride and spotted one sitting not ten feet from me. Hmm. I must not have been to afraid or just feeling reckless. I stopped and took a picture and guess what? This alligator had no shoes, either. Haha. Again, thanks for the good laugh, Bobby.
     
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  6. Bobby Gnomy

    Bobby Gnomy Member
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    Hahahahhaha... that's funny! Tears streaming down my cheeks funny. Good one. ;)
     
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  7. Corie Henson

    Corie Henson Very Well-Known Member
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    Okay, that was a surprising punch line. But let me inform you that in case the alligator had shoes, there would be 2 pairs since alligators have 4 feet unless it is an amputee like an alligator from Cambodia that stepped on a land mine, hahahaaa. Now, my question is this - he would give a pair of alligator shoes to his wife and what about the other pair? Now, you started this so I guess you have to answer that. Hahahaaa.
     
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  8. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Very Well-Known Member
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    Ah, my dear Corie, but you are asking a question that has plagued all husbands in nearly every part of the free world. The question we ask is this: "Can a lady of literally any social standing have too many pairs of shoes?"

    The durability of alligator shoes is well known, so while one pair may be used for feeding the chickens, the other pair may be set aside for tea with the other ladies of the bayou.
     
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