Aging Alone

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Beth Gallagher, Sep 20, 2022.

  1. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    I'm aging alone now and don't like it one bit..
     
    #16
  2. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    I knew several guys who were abused by their wives/partners and never fought back or reported it. A study I read once found that being abused by a female is more common than being abused by a male partner (55% to 45%). It was years ago and may have changed. The guys were taught from boyhood never to hit a woman, so they allowed themselves to be beaten, usually with vases, coffeepots, and other similar weapons. They could not go to the ER and tell them "My wife beat me up" and still keep sane. Male on female abuse was found to be much more severe, however, and more likely to cause severe injury or death.
     
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  3. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    I think marriage works best if each partner thinks THEY are contributing more than their share. That way it usually ends up about 50/50.
     
    #18
  4. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    My older brother's sister-in-law (his wife's sister) used to beat her husband regularly. She was mean & nasty. People can really suck.
     
    #19
  5. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I shall whip out my motto once again. :D "Go ahead and hit me, you have to sleep sometime."
     
    #20
  6. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    Relationships are different these days. My daughter has an odd one. Other daughter lives with a guy. Married daughter's husband has been overweight and sickly for many years, although he is very nice. Very stressful.
    I don't want to be alone to be a burden to my kids. I could live with one or two of them, maybe, if I stayed out of earshot.
     
    #21
  7. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I agree about not wanting to burden my kids, Mary. I have heard people say that they "expect" their children to care for them and I just don't get that.
     
    #22
  8. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    My parents both died age 45. My wife's father died at 60, but her mother lived to 102. She has told the kids to expect her to be a "rotating burden" (tongue in cheek) as she adores the grandchildren, even the ones that are about grown.
     
    #23
  9. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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  10. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    Least you still got us Al. Hang in there :)
     
    #25
  11. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Are you around other people?
     
    #26
  12. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    After just getting over the flu-y thing when I could not do much more than a dishrag, I have started slowly doing exercises and trying to build myself back up. It seems to be helping a bit. If you don't have weights, you can use canned veggies, a half gallon jug of milk...
    You can sit up straight and rock from the seat bones to build up your stomach muscles...you need them for lifting things.
    Stand and do partial knee bends...
    Moving will help with things you need to move to do.
    Just a thought. If you can do some things you might feel better. Or help someone else?
     
    #27
  13. John Houlihan

    John Houlihan Very Well-Known Member
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    Namaste Mary, the Tibetan monks stay healthy and active into very old age by practicing what are called the "5 Tibetan Rites". The link below describes what the Rites are and how to do them. Very important, older people should proceed with great caution. An example is Rite 2. I tried to do it and found it impossible to raise my legs straight up in the air as shown in the link. So, I had to do Rite 2 by bending my knees. My experience so far is do not overdo any Rite or you will be sore in the following days. It may take me months to reach the target of doing each Rite 21 times, but other google links say it is a great way to stay healthy and active, no matter how old you are. I hope I make it to 21 reps.

    https://www.healthline.com/health/5-tibetan-rites
     
    #28
  14. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    Uhmmmmm...I think I will be sick that day. Good luck for yourself, though
     
    #29
  15. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    I have been aging alone for 52 years this month. @Beth Gallagher poses some interesting questions which I can't really answer because all any of us can do is compare to others' situations. There are lots of ifs and buts and we all know that if ifs and buts were candy and nuts we would all have a Merry Christmas, however since the ifs and buts are most likely not candy and nuts, domestic unhappiness is common as we age. Men give up and women get cranky or vice versa.

    It is great that some seem to be happy remarrying in their old age, but I see too much neediness with one partner or maybe both. I know one couple that got married just to move into assisted living. For me, that would be a double damn. :D

    One drawback is there are no anniversary congratulations and grand soirees for the longtime single. :rolleyes:
     
    #30

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