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Advice Desperately Needed

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by J. Thomas, Jul 5, 2018.

  1. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    Ain't it the truth !
     
    #61
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  2. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
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    mope around
    just get in a do nothing rut and complain to yourself, know a change needs to be made and do nothing but look for excuses
     
    #62
  3. Sacheen BrightEagle

    Sacheen BrightEagle Veteran Member
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    What a beautiful, kind post, as are many here. I have taken some time to sort out my feelings on this subject. I wanted to expand my horizons and not see things solely through the eyes of a therapist, which can sometimes conflict with other less secular views. In a time when, increasingly, it seems people are pitted one against the other,

    so entrenched in our own opinions we risk losing our humanity, it gives me hope when I see compassionate human beings reaching out to comfort rather than condemn. I was also brought to tears by the honesty of some poster’s

    self examination, acceptance of their own fallibility allowed them to feel empathy for the lady in need of help. I wish more people knew the difference between accepting all a person’s choices, and empathising with their suffering. I salute you guys, you made my day. You are good people.❤️
     
    #63
  4. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    #64
  5. Sacheen BrightEagle

    Sacheen BrightEagle Veteran Member
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    Oh, you sweet lady, thank you so much. I need a hanky.
     
    #65
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  6. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    @Sacheen BrightEagle , I have something I would like to ask you as a therapist.

    I was at a gathering recently and there was a lady who went into great detail about how much pain she suffers. She described where it hurt, how badly it hurts and how many doctors she has been to seeking relief. When she paused for breath, I asked her if she had any pain pills. She said, "Yes, but I don't take them." .........… Yes, but I don't take them????? Why on earth would a person not take a pill to get at least some relief from pain? I have been pondering that question since then.

    Can it be that she enjoys the pain? What other reason could there be? Your opinion, please.
     
    #66
  7. Sacheen BrightEagle

    Sacheen BrightEagle Veteran Member
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    Hi Shirley. Difficult to diagnose someone accurately under such circumstances, but I suspect this is all about a desparate need for attention, also, if she is indeed in a great deal of pain I would be amazed if she didn’t take pain meds. For one thing, her physician would monitor their effects through blood tests, etc. She would receive short shrift if she completely ignored medical advice. Aside from that, one would need to be made of very stern stuff to avoid medication if suffering from intense pain.
     
    #67
  8. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
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    Shirley I have a bad knee and have had a very long time I asked my doctor when it would get better,
    "HOW long you plan to live?" was HIS ANSWER. So no pills here either I live with it.
     
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  9. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    If the pain were so severe that I'd feel the need to talk about it all the time, that might be a different thing, but I don't generally take pain pills. When doctors would hand them out at their office, I'd take them home with me but rarely take any. I refuse prescriptions for pain medications after surgeries or such. If a pain pill is effective, it usually comes with an alteration in my thinking and that annoys me.
     
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  10. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    @Shirley Martin - I can give you an answer from my perspective
    I am in pain every day and I don't take painkillers
    The pain is so bad, I have suicidal thoughts and I don't take painkillers
    The reason - they affect my stomach badly AND they only lower the pain for a short time (20 mins) so why would I bother
    I use a tens pen - an affective gel which again only lasts a short time, I also take a supplement which has the same affect
    Judging people before knowing the extent of the problem is a big NO, saying she must 'enjoy' the pain - what else could
    it be ? - is judging
     
    #70
  11. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    I, too, am in some pain all the time. I call it discomfort, and my wife says everybody else call it pain. Anyway, I only take REAL pain meds when things get terrible--usually my fault. I take ibuprofen once it a while to suppress the discomfort, but I have only had to take opiates once in the past two years when the pain made me unable to function. It only took one pill to interrupt the cycle and allow me to deal with it. I have seen too many people relieve the pain only to become addicted to the opiates.
     
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  12. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    :(
     
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  13. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    @Don Alaska - Its a good point you make, people do become addicted to painkillers, not only that,
    but I have discovered a nausea tablet I have been taking for years (for vertigo) is 'not' suitable for me due
    to a potential heart problem. This was discovered by a recent doctor who took over from my usual one !
    The side affects of pills also puts me off, I don't need to 'add' to my problems
    :)
     
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  14. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    When I last visited with my orthopedic surgeon, the same subject came up and the general contention was that most of his patients preferred to live through the pain rather than take heavy duty medication.

    For me, it’s a matter of pinpointing exactly where the pain is coming from which allows me to treat it accordingly. For example, if it’s just a matter of a stretched muscle or ligament I can support it and ease back on the physical use of that area. Taking pain medication would mask it and in its very essence, give me the go ahead to keep abusing the damaged area thereby causing more damage not only to the initial area but all the parts which support it.
    It’s a given that pain, by definition, hurts but it’s a natural informational process which makes us favor and hopefully treat the problem.

    I learned a stiff lesson some years ago that medicating a problem with pain meds can make matters worse than they were to begin with. i.e. taking pain meds for liver problems create more problems for what? The liver.

    I’m no masochist, but the only medication I generally use is an anti-inflammatory like Aleve, which isn’t a pain killer but helps reduce the swelling that occurs which is a cause for pain all by itself. I have a nearly full bottle of a prescribed narcotic sitting on my shelf and unless the pain causes me to lose a good “reparative” sleep, it’ll probably sit there for quite a while.
     
    #74
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  15. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    Another valid point is that the body will get used to the meds so you need more or stronger ones !
     
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