A Relationship In General

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Michael Santi, Jun 16, 2017.

  1. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    I post this here because the outline mentions it's ok to post about relationships in general. I'm serious when I say it's truly a blessing and extremely gratifying to know I can speak openly to people in my age range and with a bit of frankness because I'm certain others in here know as I what utter lonliness for a partner feels like. Yes I have family but all here know the difference between that and a partner, a mate, a lover ...

    What a mixed bundle of emotions reaching the golden years creates .... I'm Italian, active, and still mentally youthful with nothing but a mild level of type 2 diabetes, but unable to disclose the level of lonliness I feel because somewhere at sometime in my youth I heard the term ... probably on tv ... of "dirty old man " ..... All of my life I have heard women defend themselves and fight for equality with men, I've heard of "Gay Rights" , "Glass Ceiling"
    Animal Friends, POW Committees, Civil Rights Movements and on and on .... But quietly accepting the rebuke, standing with head bowed and lips sealed ... is the man who is simply labled "The Dirty Old Man" because he longs for one last love before he passes ....

    No group marches down main street for this one no sir ! ... No forelorn old men in wire cages staring out with sad 'take me home with you' eyes , no suited attorneys on tv stating he'll fight for your right to die holding one last partner's hand ... no, you'll see none of that for the 70 year old man with the same needs and wants he had all of his life ... no pity now because he went from a handsome single bachelor or widower or just never found the right one .... to a supposedly righteous new title the public feels he deserves ... The Dirty Old Man ...

    The opposite problem is just as enormously unsettling as the explained problem above ... Unrealistic women expecting some last relationship to fulfill everything they could never quite obtain for their ongoing bucket list container, or wanting some James Bond -like success story whose idea of retirement is spending his summers in the Hamptons at his second home to be nearer his Pleasure boats till winter returns ...

    Lastly and the worse possible situation of all ... the one that fully locks in with a loud click the handcuffs of the title 'Dirty Old Man' .... the woman who straight faced and fully serious says she too wants a partner but of course, at these ages ... sex is something she has simply decided to discard .... and she did this as easily as one changes coffee brands when the flavor has changed ... I imagine the very confusion that this last one evokes in me ... the utter inability to comprehend how these women decided to do this ... is what obviously and righteously has condemned me to the lower strata of living hell .... I am I guess ' The Dirty Old Man'
     
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  2. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Depends how you present yerself doesn't it ?
    Are you a 'leerer' Michael - If you are, then what do you expect :p
    If not, maybe your approach is just wrong.
    Don't try to be something you're not, unless you're a 'leerer' you definitely need to change that :rolleyes:
    Show interest in the lady and get to know the 'person'
    If you 'expect' too much, you will receive nothing :)
     
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  3. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    You're post made me laugh because just after posting a better avatar I was thinking I had a smart mouthed look in that pic lol ! ... As to the rest I'd have to say I think I've been civil, friendly, and absolutely no 'hubba hubba ' type comments ... I have to close my eyes just to type this, lol ....
     
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  4. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    LOL - I'm glad you're not a leerer Michael :p
    If I were single and lived over there, I'd give you a chance, I'm a fool for Italians :p
     
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  5. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    I was single/divorced for 21 years, before meeting my wife in 2000. I had placed a Personal Ad in a local magazine and she called me about it.

    One thing I learned, right after my divorce, a person has to "put themself out there and available" in order to meet someone. You CAN'T let yourself get all wrapped up, and frustrated, in that phrase "Dirty Old Man" or think about sex so much. A lot of women in our age bracket (I'm 68) have had an active sex life and companionship is much more important to them now than sex is. There are men that feel the same way as well.

    Look for a partner/companion, not just sit and wish for one!

    Good Luck
     
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  6. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    Just my luck too ... A probably attractive and chance giving good soul and she's in ... is it London ?
     
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  7. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Ha ha yea - and of course you are absolutely spot on with your assumption of me :p
     
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  8. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    Ha ha, Patsy. I'm single and grew up in Pittsburgh but I'm really not looking especially for a long distance relationship.
     
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  9. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Yea, shame that is - don't you just love Italianos :cool:
     
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  10. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    Oh Patsy, I could just scream ....
     
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  11. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    What the heck ... is everyone in London ...you too ?
     
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  12. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    My first crush was Italian...still remember him, Jimmy Cibrone. :). I was 10.
     
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  13. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I'm in California.
     
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  15. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    Pa. is my home town but I was in Novato for 13 years ... (about 20 minutes fron downtown San Francisco)
     
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  16. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I'm in Fresno and Pittsburgh was my hometown until I was 18.
     
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  17. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    I see ....
     
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  18. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Very Well-Known Member
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    First ditch that "dirty ole man" crap. Why label yourself ? Unless you are grabbing females in the um wrong areas, talking dirty, or only have eyes for females under 21...your just a robust healthy male looking to have some fun and whatever...while you still can! There aint nothing dirty about that;)
     
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  19. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Very Well-Known Member
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    Unfortunately, there are those in our society that don't look it that way. And, there has to be a reason/reasons he's thinking that way.
     
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  20. Chris Ladewig

    Chris Ladewig Well-Known Member
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    Being a female I can tell you that if you are seriously looking for a partner with the same interests, there is a multitude of women out there looking for the same thing. So I'm kind of dumbfounded to hear any one truly interested would have any difficulty finding some one.
     
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  21. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I think that Cody has a great concept of this idea (looking for a partner/companion) and if you actively look for people who might have the same outlook on life as you do, then it should be possible to find someone. Once you find someone who you like as a friend, then compatibility issues (such as food, lifestyle, and sex) can be discussed. There is nothing wrong with someone wanting to have sex in the relationship, and nothing wrong with not wanting to have it, as long as both partners are in agreement on the subject
    Just as it seems wrong if a woman is just looking for a man to enhance her financial situation, neither does a woman want to think that she is only being seen as an object for sex; so this can go both ways.
    When Bobby and I met, it was as friends from a Christian website, and as we began writing to each other, we learned more and more about what we were both looking for in a relationship, and sharing our interests with each other. We lived on either end of the continent; and had the time difference to deal with; but by the time we actually got to the point of meeting each other, we already knew a lot about the other person, and that we were compatible in our outlooks and expectations with a partner.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 16, 2017
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  22. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    All responses above are appreciated and even hope - giving but I think without even knowing me, Gloria and Cody 'read' me best ... and Cody is right to say 'there are reasons' ... I didn't really touch on the thought processes behind the original post about the "Dirty Old Man" title .... In fairness to myself I should first say I have a tendency to be a bit overly brutal about things I consider my 'failings' and have always seemed to pick the harshest words in my self lashings ... no, I don't leer nor want a 21 year old, nor a sexual relationship that verges on sick or even dangerous pornographics. I don't need a Barbie Doll although after 13 years in California I'll admit ... and my son agrees, Pittsburgh women generally ,that is, probably 7 out of ten in a passing parade scenerio .. will be a bit more than heavy , even verging on morbid obesity. That I prefer normal sized or simply full figured or fluffy should not label me as being too picky.

    All of that aside, I think I should address Cody's thoughts about me in the post where he said "there are reasons he's thinking that way " because I did omit the things that caused my bitterness out of the original post. I'll get my head together and post it in a bit ... for now, it's time to make coffee !
     
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  23. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Active Member
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    Have my thoughts together from the posts above and in trying to think how to explain both my lonliness as well as my anger at myself I thought about Andy Williams song "Yesterday when I was young". It speaks so perfectly clear to me I can't imagine anyone anywhere denying the lyrics to this beautiful piece of truth song.

    In fairness to all of us, the song does however isolate only the teller of the song's tale without mentioning the partners or romances that helped the teller fail . It takes two to Tango and I always found that apparantly as my past partners were Tango-ing .... I was doing the Twist or maybe even an absurd Bunny Hop.

    Differences such as that are forgivable in the 30's to 50's .... But there came a day I returned to Pa. and moved into what unknown to me when I signed the lease was basically a Senior Citizens complex .... and even more secreted was the fact some were living there who needed something more akin to a Senior Medical Care Facility ... not simply a Senior conveniences dwelling.

    If you are young at heart and active, surrounding yourself with people on a totally different plane of existence is anathama to one's sense of self esteem or well being .... All of the lesser to greatest gifts of life from motorcycles , hang gliding, martial arts, sexual prowess, good income .... to children, family, faith, health, hopes of Jesus, and peace with the reality of death seemed absolutely foreign to these people ... I was like some type of odd man out, on the outside looking in type of thing ... I finally knew what Clark Kent must have felt, (lol)

    I dated a few residents a bit but kept being scolded for the dangers of motorcycle riding, or for speaking of things totally unknown to even exist by these women ... and men as well, ie: RC planes, Tickbox, Vaping, Taikwondo, Oversized watches, omg ! ... in some cases even tv shows dating back to the freekin' 60's ! Some thought of buying cable tv as being equal to having a pentagram scarred into your forehead .... so you can imagine what happened by the time even the slightest topics that referred to sexual congress came up ..... voila ! The Dirty Old Man appeared on the buildings rooftop like some type of devient Batman ...

    I have tried to cut through explaining all of this many times by simply stating I want a woman who is a realist but not unaware of the possibility of ongoing youthfullness, beauty efforts, fun that is not as dangerous as they somehow were taught to believe, and lastly .... love wine, fireplaces, love, and lovemaking as well as being a one man woman to a one woman man.
     
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  24. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Very Well-Known Member
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    I have responded to this 5 times..but have not posted as afraid me and my down to earth Texas humor might be taken wrong. But I will say this...if you have not already...you need to get tha $#;&_out if there!
     
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  25. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Veteran Member
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    I was forty-eight before I was married for the first and only time. Even then, I wasn't looking for a relationship. We met while working together on a web directory.
     
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