5 Things I Wish I Told My Father Before He Died By Kathy Vitale Michel

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Joe Riley, Jun 19, 2015.

  1. Joe Riley

    Joe Riley Supreme Member
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  2. Susan Brown

    Susan Brown Veteran Member
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    That is such a beautiful article. Thank you for sharing. I lost my Dad unexpectedly in October 2000. It was such a shock and so many "What If's". If I have known the last time I seen him, that it would be the last time, I never would have left that day. I would have stayed there. I would have talked to him so much longer and told him how much I loved him and how proud I was to be his daughter. I would have told him how he was such an amazing Dad and the wonderful job he did at raising us. There were so many words left unsaid. Words that should have been spoken. I often wish I could have one last chance with him. One more moment. It never felt like I had any closure because there were no good byes. He was just there one day and then he was gone forever. Not a day goes by that he is not in my thoughts. I miss him so much.
     
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  3. Corie Henson

    Corie Henson Veteran Member
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    A heartwarming read. I am fortunate because my father was afflicted with liver cancer and he suffered for 6 months before he succumbed. That death sentence gave us the opportunity to do what we wanted to do regarding my father. I would always bring fruits and was ready with my stories to cheer him up and to update him of what's happening in my life.

    When he passed away in the hospital, we were all there, my mother and all my siblings. He died a quiet death. In the funeral home, I didn't cry because I felt that I had done for him what I could and that probably he felt my love for him.
     
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  4. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    It's better that I didn't see my dad before he died. At least I didn't have to fake tears for my mothers sake.
     
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  5. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
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    I feel for everyone who had a loving relationship with your fathers and perhaps didn't get to say everything you feel you wanted to before he passed.


    ..but like @Chrissy Page I didn't get to see my father before he died..and it's a very good thing, because I would have been sorely tempted to have told him exactly what I thought of him, and it would have been far from complimentary.....so I'm happy I didn't get to speak to him, because if I had said those things, I would have lived the rest of my life feeling that I was the cause multiple Storkes and Parkinsons disease... instead of God and Karma..
     
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  6. Karen McKenzie

    Karen McKenzie Veteran Member
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    I got to say everything I wanted to my precious dad..and I guess losing him was the hardest thing. Hugs @Susan Brown...all the love we feel for anyone is totally intact now and forever. I guess there is no easy way. It was hard watching my handsome, kind dad be wasted by cancer over a two year period. He was a clothes hound and loved looking good..and went from a size medium to small on his 6-1 frame. I would sometimes just sit with him while he slept.on the sofa.

    My dad loved life and lived it to the full. My heart goes out to those with troubled relationships with their dads. My dad was like my rock I could turn to no matter what. He died March 22, 1999. Love you miss you dad til we meet again.
     
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  7. Karen McKenzie

    Karen McKenzie Veteran Member
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    Your dad missed out on knowing you as the wonderful person you are...and cheated himself as well. It's not always satisfying to say things that may be the truth but we know saying them will hang over us forever...if that makes sense. I think some people close to us give us so much baggage or bad karma..our gift to ourselves is to stand tall and let it go.
     
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  8. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    You were very lucky to have such a wonderful Father, Karen. I can see how much you loved him by your words.

    Hugs!
     
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  9. Arlene Richards

    Arlene Richards Veteran Member
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    @Corie Henson so sorry. Same with my mother (colon & liver cancer), she lasted 6 months (had other medical issues) and was gone at age 61. Far too young.
     
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  10. Karen McKenzie

    Karen McKenzie Veteran Member
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    Hugs @Arlene Richards and @Corie Henson. My dad had multiple Myeloma and eventually lung cancer. Your mom was way too young, Arlene. My dad was 73. Thanks, Holly and Chrissy...much appreciated.
     
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  11. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
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    My mother died at 39... I was 18, the youngest was just 10... :(
     
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  12. Terry Page

    Terry Page Supreme Member
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    My father died at 54 of colon cancer and I only really came to understand and love him after he died, I now realise what a good and caring father he was and would now say that to him.

    I feel sadness when I read about such bad and bitter memories of father's such as Holly's and Chrissy's, because I know how important a father's role plays in the daughter's adult relationships with men. I have listened to many women's tales of hated fathers, and I noticed that they often had older husbands/partners who were seemingly father figure substitutes.
    I always feel it's best to heal these father daughter/son relationships whenever possible, even after the father has died.
     
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  13. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    The uncle that just died filled that father spot for me. Funny, when I was young I would imagine a world where my mom was my mom but my dad was my uncle. Of course they were brother and sister but at the age I didn't think about that. :)
     
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  14. Terry Page

    Terry Page Supreme Member
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    Funnily enough I always wanted my uncle (fathers brother) to be my father, he always seemed to be more fun, I never really appreciated my father at all until years after he died.
     
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