Approval And Acknowledgment

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Hedi Mitchell, Feb 5, 2023.

  1. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    This has crossed my mind lately, and do not recall seeing this discussed. As a child, and for some as adults we want approval from our parents, friends, co workers, bosses. And acknowledgment on our accomplishments.
    But once you get the A&A are you satisfied? Do you thrive to and perhaps require even more ? Are you ever content with who you have become and how outlook on life in general ?
    One reason I ask this question is because I know several people in my daily life who appear to constantly seek A&A almost regularly. Do you ever reach the point that it just does not matter that much anymore?
    And once you have had A&A , do you accept, or ruin the moment by pointing out the flaws you still see?
    Hope I worded and got my point across as i really want to know.
     
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  2. John West

    John West Very Well-Known Member
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    Interesting topic. My first reaction was to think that insecure people probably need and will often seek more A&A than secure folks. Being more in the latter, I really don't give much though to A&A unless a polite reposnse (e.g., "you're welcome" , "thanks" or "glad you liked it") is warranted. This is to say the focus is outward rather than inward. As for negative approval, dislike, etc.; it goes with the territory of life and can be something to learn from (or not).
     
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  3. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, when a person works hard at their job all year long, and then, when it comes to the 1-Year Anniversary/Pay Review, the person only gets a .50 cent raise, that can be very annoying. They definitely want more A & A, at least I did.
     
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  4. Thomas Windom

    Thomas Windom Very Well-Known Member
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    If I do something, I expect, IF a person is acknowledged at all, to receive the acknowledgement for that work. I don’t need it but I would not want someone else to be given credit for my work. Managers who report as their own work, the work of their reports, churn my stomach. Give credit where it is due.
     
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  5. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    Let me elaborate just a bit. Not just working A&A, anything and everything. Appearance, hobbies completed, etc. Do you need to have the A&A in order to feel confident, that you are progressing, that you feel valued?
     
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  6. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    I don’t feel like I need to have it, especially for everything; but on the other hand, it is nice to have someone notice and give an approval . Sometimes, I will be out in the yard and working on the flowers or the garden area, and someone who is walking by will comment on how pretty the flowers are, and I do enjoy hearing someone say that. However, even if no one ever did say anything, I would still enjoy my flowers just as much as if they did say how pretty they are.

    Bobby almost always will say that our meal tases good, and I appreciate it that he cares enough to tell me that, and I try to do the same thing when he prepares our meal. I think that it is important to acknowledge other people, but I do not think that someone should expect to be praised for everything that they do.
     
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  7. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    But once you get the A&A are you satisfied? I don't seek it, so it is neither satisfying nor unsatisfying. It is what it is.

    Do you thrive on and perhaps require even more? Nope! It is always nice to receive honest A & A but I won't modify my life to get it,

    Are you ever content with who you have become and how outlook on life in general ? Yes, I have been content most of my life and I think because of my experiences and personal drive to accomplish things even though others may never know, had nothing to do with A & A. Sharing my stories and accomplishments here on SOC isn't done for approval but acknowledgment is nice knowing others have read them.

    Do you ever reach the point that it just does not matter that much anymore? I am getting there!

    And once you have had A&A , do you accept, or ruin the moment by pointing out the flaws you still see? I accept any A & A , but may point out flaws but that doesn't ruin the moment for me, it makes me more gracious and understand that others may not see such as being flaws and that we are all our biggest critics and that keeps me humble.

    Do you need to have the A&A in order to feel confident, that you are progressing, that you feel valued? No, I know I am not progressing with any accomplishments as I have put hobbies, etc., behind me. I like to feel valued as a senior that made many contributions to the world in my working years, howbeit insignificant in the wide scope of things.

    .
     
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    Last edited: Feb 5, 2023
  8. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I like being acknowledged, but I'm not desperate for it. And I understand that the more that one approval-seeks, the more one sets oneself up to being manipulated, so too much approval is not trustworthy. That being said, I have learned to take a compliment...I used to be more self-deprecating.

    As an adult, I will stand in appreciation of a major project I've completed...and I may go back for a second or a third look. I've not yet reached a point where I'm tired of satisfying my own neediness.

    The flip-side to the subject is that there must be some degree of compliant behaviour so that one is not universally rejected. But I don't think the social norms are what you're asking about...it's all a matter of degree.
     
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  9. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    ^^This.

    Yes, I mostly feel content with myself, and I also realize my short-comings. Some people never have self-awareness it seems.

    ETA--interesting that some of the men's responses to this topic include their work accomplishments. That never even crossed my mind.
     
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  10. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    It is better to give than to receive....
     
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  11. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    Never did care for A&A if it comes good, however I was never one to rest on my Laurels either I just love achieving things for me, if others appreciate it I would thank them.
     
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  12. Reen Davis

    Reen Davis Well-Known Member
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    While I'm not suggesting it applies to 'all' the people you know - it is possible that perhaps 1 or 2 of them never got
    any praise or encouragement from parents when they were young - and were even made to feel that they were
    no good at anything. When a child/young person is constantly made to feel inferior and a failure - it can have a lasting
    effect and result in them constantly seeking the approval from others that they never got from their parents.
     
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  13. Tony Page

    Tony Page Veteran Member
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    I agree young children should get support and encouragement and be praised for trying even if what they're doing comes out poorly for their age. They should be handled with a positive tone.
     
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  14. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    DITTO!
     
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