When You Unsure Why Someone Doesn't Like You, How Do You Deal With It?

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Jake Smith, Nov 10, 2022.

  1. John West

    John West Very Well-Known Member
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    The boss may or may not be emotionally superior; however, he or she is usually in a superior position, against which adolescent, emotional behavior is almost always a bad idea.
     
    #91
  2. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    And it's a worse idea to use one's "superior position" for retaliatory action. There are supervisors, and then there are good supervisors. I don't know why you assume that telling someone that you don't like them is "adolescent or emotional." Sometimes it's just a fact.
     
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  3. John West

    John West Very Well-Known Member
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    I don't think carrying this conversation forward has any value.
     
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  4. Jake Smith

    Jake Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I saw this and thought it would fit this thread. :D

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Its all according to what the price is to be your buddy. But then I don't stay upset and don't like making others upset so I find myself apologizing more now that I'm old.
    There is not one here that I dislike. I get rowdy sometimes when I get peeved but it doesn't last long.
     
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  6. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    On second thought, I can't relate to the question. I can't imagine anyone not liking me.
     
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  7. Thomas Windom

    Thomas Windom Very Well-Known Member
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    I am very much a loner, my wife, our kitties, that’s pretty much it. If someone doesn’t like me…meh. There’s still a modicum of freedom left in the country so they’re free to dislike me. It doesn’t affect me. When engaging with others, I am polite and circumspect, with a pleasant demeanor. I can carry on a decent conversation. There’s not much for them to like or dislike either way.
     
    #97
  8. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    I can remember discussing this in this forum somewhere, but I don't think it was in a thread of its own, and, if so, I can't find it.

    Probably most of us, at some point in our lives, have become aware that there are others who don't like us. Sometimes, we might know why, but there might also be times when we can't think of a good reason for it.

    A better way of phrasing the question would be to use dislike rather than like because I can think of many people I don't necessarily like, but whom I don't dislike. Often, they are people I don't know well enough to have an opinion about or, in some cases, people I'm not particularly attracted to or repulsed by. In other words, I neither like nor dislike them.

    However, most of us have probably experienced people who seem to dislike us, and we don't always know why.

    When you become aware that someone dislikes you, does this harm your sense of self-esteem? Is it something that you dwell on? Do you feel the need to change their opinion of you? Do you look for reasons to dislike them as well?

    For me, this would depend on whether these are people who are likely to be significant in my life in some way. Is this someone who I work with or, more importantly, someone who I work for? Is it a relative or a close neighbor? Do they attend the same church I do?

    In all cases, I probably won't simply ignore it because I'd feel compelled to try to figure out why they don't like me, as I might also want to clarify whether or not I am right about the feeling that I have that they dislike me. I don't expect everyone to like me, but dislike suggests that there is a reason, and if this is something that I can do something about, I might consider it.

    If it's someone I am likely to come across regularly, this might become more important to me. Depending on the circumstances, I might even ask if have done something to offend them, but I probably won't. More likely, I'll try to figure it out for myself.

    If I find that they dislike me because I had a Trump sign on my yard or because they were related to, or friends with, someone who I opposed politically, then I'll just ignore it as something I can't do anything about. I might even deliberately try to annoy them but, more likely, I'll ignore them and their opinions.

    If this is someone who I might come across from time to time, but who isn't particularly significant in my life, I might give it some thought, to see if I can figure out why they dislike me, but I don't waste a lot of time or effort on it. I've been involved in quite a few political things over the years, not all connected to a particular political party, so I can expect that there will be people who dislike me even though we have probably never even had a conversation. If they dislike me because I didn't vote for the same person they did, they're not important to me. I'm friends with other people who vote differently than I do, but they've taken the time to have a conversation.

    I know that this will shock most of you, but I'm not a perfect person and there have been times when I have been caught up in something to the point where I may have been insensitive or possibly even rude to people I didn't even know very well, or at all. Of course, if I was trying to recall someone from a political office or have someone fired from a public job, it might be expected that friends or relatives might not like me very much. In such cases, I might try to make amends if this is possible, particularly if this is something that I can make amends for. I don't think I've been involved in anything political in which I felt that I was in the wrong, politically, although I wasn't always nice to people on the other side.

    In these cases, if I can make amends I will, but if that doesn't solve the problem, I don't let it worry me much. There's never any point in beating yourself up over something you can't do anything about. As I get older, I try not to get so wrapped up in stuff that I forget that those on the other side are human beings who probably believe they are just as right as I believe I am.
     
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  9. Faye Fox

    Faye Fox Veteran Member
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    Search Cody's former threads. I believe he posed the same or similar question a few weeks ago. It may be longer since time passes fast on SOC.:D

    People not liking me is just part of my life and I don't care what the reason is. Since I have had bad OCD since I was 6, that is usually the reason. I have done what I can to be less irritating to be around, but some folks can't overlook eccentric behavior even though it doesn't affect them. I am not going to live my life drugged up just to be easier to be around. Some don't like me because I use comedy to overcome such behavior and also my past life filled with tragedy and not live a life of depression, resentment, and anger.

    Since I think more folks like me than not, I feel those that don't, missed out on having a loyal friend. It was and is their loss, not mine. If a close long-time friend suddenly doesn't like me, I want to know why, but as for others, I don't care.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 3, 2023
  10. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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  11. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    #101
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  12. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Thank you. I knew it had been discussed but I didn't see it. I couldn't find it in a search and didn't think to look in Family & Relationships for some reason, although it's a perfect place for it. I have merged them.
     
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  13. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    We're old so no telling how many threads are basically the same, :p I go thru the old titles looking to make sure the subject isn't already up , while doing so I forget what the heck I was going to say sometimes.
     
    #103
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  14. Mary Stetler

    Mary Stetler Veteran Member
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    I can't think of a time I've gotten on the computer and not been distracted, and closed it up without doing what I came in to do:confused:
     
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  15. Jake Smith

    Jake Smith Very Well-Known Member
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    I still wonder about those who say they don't care; and that it doesn't bother them, because, for me, it affects, me in one way or another, even if I pretend, that I don't care. I've seen it in other people too, where they get angry, and say things, that does clearly prove, that they're affected by it.

    If someone is not bothered by being not liked, or as Ken stated, disliked; I would love to learn how they do it, and if it worked, I would tell everyone I come in contact with, so everyone would be happier. :D
     
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