I've often wished I could see a transcript of what people say when they are jumping through the hoops of an automated answering machine when calling government agencies like USPS, or Social Security; or big corporate outfits like Microsoft, Amazon. I always have a few choice words I share with the machine I'm speaking at. I just spoke with UPS. First funny message was: "We are experiencing a high volume of calls. Your call waiting time could be three minutes or more." That's what it said, "three minutes or more." Lot of room there. Still UPS machine: "Please be aware that to speak to an agent you will need a tracking number that exceeds the number of people on the planet." Then my Smart Phone won't recognize the "1" I put in to proceed with reading off the number. So, I say "agent" a couple of times and am connected to a person. My hearing is not what it was, so I turn up the volume every way I can find on my Smart Phone. And I am connected to a person, for whom English is a second language. Usually but not always a female, from another country. I have nothing against other countries, but the person reads from a script, in monotone, and I try to keep track, but hear a lot of sounds in the higher range, which come out as a kind of staccato squawking. Not the lady's fault, but she reads the entire script about partnership with other carriers, etc. "Thanks for the information," I say. "Could you tell me please, if an attempt will be made to re deliver using the address you currently have? No offense, but just yes or no if you will." "Yes." So o.k., and I will wait and see if the package arrives. I just dread having to make this kind of call. If you say "agent" or "representative" enough times you can usually get to a person who has a scripted answer for replies, and delivers them as if they were one, long, sentence. Just doesn't seem like progress in communication.
I just keep pressing 0 until the machine lets me talk to a person. I think more businesses are bringing their support back to the US. Only once in the last couple of years have I spoken to someone in India. I finally hung up and called again. This time I got somebody in Texas. They had that Texas drawl but at least I could understand what they said.
I did at one time, lose my rag talking to a robot - always gives me a giggle thinking of it Sometimes I answer the TV too
It wasn't funny at the time but it makes me laugh now. I called my cable company a few months ago and - as always - the computer answers. The first thing they do after the greeting is give the option for Spanish. Well I was pretty miffed that I even had to call them so real snooty like I said NO .. NO ESPANOL! Next thing I knew I was hearing everything in Spanish LOL Lesson learned .. that is the only thing that computer understands without making me repeat it twice ! I also .. once past the initial greeting .. just press 0 until I get a human.
I hate talking with machines also, and I push 0 over and over until the machine gives up and connects me, just like the rest of you seem to do. Another thing that sometimes works is a nonsense answer. They ask me some question, usually why I am calling so that they can direct me to the proper response, and sometimes none of the choices are what I want. Then, I will give an answer like “I don’t think so”, and keep giving them that response and finally, they agree to transfer me to a human assistant. When possible, I prefer to go to the website and try to solve the problem online , and if they have a live chat, I really like that. It is still learned responses most of the time, but at least it is written in understandable English, so I can tell what they are saying to me. As far as being able to hear what they are saying , @Mikhail Bulgakov , I always put my phone on speakerphone, and then turn the volume up. Another option would be to use headphones or earbuds with your phone, and then there would be no obstructive noises, and the volume will adjust better. I have a friend with hearing issues, and his daughter got him a set of headphones to wear so he can hear and understand her when she calls her father.
Press 1 to read this answer 2 to see other options 3 for your device to self destruct Scream because the option you need doesn't exist Or Press nothing at all because someone will talk to you. Hope this answer was important to you. Hate automated messages and options!
When I get a foreign non English fast talking person using a script I usually switch to German my very limited usage but it seems to do the trick they say they cant understand me and I reply the same thing back, asking if they like something odd and do they have one and all about it then English I am calling to buy your service then back to German. It works.
I keep on saying representative until I get human and if I can't understand the human I ask for someone who can speak English.