How Self-conscious Are You?

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Ken Anderson, Sep 30, 2022.

  1. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    How self-conscious are you about your appearance? How self-conscious are you overall? How badly do you need the approval of people around you? How has that changed over the years?

    @Cody Fousnaugh often talks about getting looks from people when he wears a Western hat or Western clothing, and one thing that comes to mind is that I doubt that I'd notice if someone gave me looks. There's a downside to that, of course. My zipper could be undone and I'd probably not notice the looks people gave me. Maybe that speaks, as well, to how conscious I am of other people around me, but I notice when other people look ridiculous. I don't get the feeling that they much care what I think about their appearance, nor would I expect them to.

    This isn't about Cody; it was just a post of his that got me thinking about it.

    I have moved to several different parts of the country, and I have noticed that there are some differences in how people dress from one area to another. Still, I was always under the impression that it had more to do with the practicalities of climate, occupation, and so on, and little to do with fashion. I never felt the need to change my wardrobe because I moved to another state, but I did find that if I was going to spend days hiking in the canyons of Southern California or among the harsh vegetation in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, it made sense to wear boots and clothing that could reduce my chances of having to go through a lot of pain. It's not so much that flip-flops or clogs are not in fashion, but that they're just not a good idea. Having grown up in the cold in the UP of Michigan, I was well aware that moving from Texas to Maine would require some new clothing. But fashion had nothing to do with it.

    That said, I am not entirely blind to such considerations. I have a bunch of hats that I bought because I liked them, or thought they'd serve some good purpose, but I have always been self-conscious about how I look in a hat and, beyond the standard ball-type hat, I haven't felt comfortable wearing most hats in public. Some of them I reserve for when I am in the woods or on my own land.

    There have been changes over the years. I had most of the same insecurities during high school that many other people have had, but it wasn't conformity that I was looking for. For most of my high school experience, I was the only guy in the school with hair that even reached the shoulders. I felt good about that. I didn't care that someone might disapprove of it but, at the same time, I didn't want to look ridiculous. Thus, the polka-dot shirt made only one appearance.

    I became self-conscious about my tattoos shortly after burdening myself with them and wore long-sleeve shirts, even in Southern California, for a good part of my life. However, in my old age, or for the past twenty years or so, I don't care anymore.

    I wear short pants around the house and in the yard a lot, sometimes even while shoveling snow in the winter, but I would rarely leave my own property in short pants. In fact, I think that most guys over the age of fifty shouldn't wear short pants in public. Do I give them looks? Well, I notice, so I suppose I do.

    I don't think any guy over the age of 14 should go out in public without a shirt on unless he's swimming. I see guys walking down the sidewalk without shirts on sometimes, and I just think it looks tacky, particularly when there is a bit of weight going on. I don't shout epithets at them or anything, but I wouldn't step out of my house without a shirt on. In fact, I rarely leave the bedroom without a shirt on.

    I have never been one who tried to follow fashion trends. While not oblivious to my appearance, I don't think I've cared much about what other people thought about what I was wearing, and unless they were shouting insults at me or pointing and laughing, I don't think I'd notice if someone were giving me looks.

    Like most people who need to, I'd like to lose some weight, but I'm not going to hide somewhere until I do that, and I'm probably not going to do that at all.
     
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  2. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Supreme Member
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    I think it depends somewhat on where you live. I know when I lived on the East or West coasts of the contiguous U.S., I was much more conscious of how I looked than I do now. When I was working I had to maintain a certain appearance standard as well, but no coat and tie like I wore some places. In New Jersey growing up, I wore a coat and tie to elementary school. Of course, that was a different time.... When I lived in bush Alaska, I dressed as the weather indicated. As a retired old guy now, I don't care what I look like as long as I am covered. Wife is a bit more conscious of such things however, and never gores to town or even a local store in the clothes she wears around the "farm".
     
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  3. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    I used to be very self-conscious, then I hit a stretch of my life where I became more confident, mostly in my career. I had my own business for a few years, and doing mixers and cold-calling & such really helped a lot.

    Now in my retired life I find that I'm not really self-conscious again as I don't really "fit in" many places, not that I really did before. Some days that bothers me, and other days not so much.
     
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  4. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I'm not particularly self-conscious, but I am "conscious." I like to look nice even if I'm not leaving the house; slovenly appearance signals a lack of motivation or something. I don't like to call attention to myself in public. Being in my 60's signaled the beginning of becoming invisible so that works out pretty well.

    I am self-conscious in certain situations, such as public speaking. Of course since I retired I don't have that to worry about any longer.

    I don't pay much attention to other people unless they are blatantly weird. As long as they have clothes on that's good enough for me. It's their life, after all.
     
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  5. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    As a paramedic, of course, I had to be somewhat conscious of appearance. As a volunteer, it didn't matter so much but, when I was hired as EMS Director, the hair was cut, and the beard and the mustache went. However, as I became more respected in the profession, I grew the hair back and, by the 1990s or so, hair length was no longer an issue in EMS. Although there are beards in EMS, facial hair wasn't a good idea for a couple of reasons, one of them being keeping a good seal on what was then known as a HEPA mask. As a paramedic, gaining the trust of a patient was important so I didn't want the tattoos to get in the way of that first impression, even in the heat of the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, so my uniforms were usually long-sleeved. That was self-consciousness, I suppose, but not fashion-consciousness.

    That was a very good way of putting it.
     
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  6. Teresa Levitt

    Teresa Levitt Veteran Member
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    i have reached the age of no vanities....easy..
    if i didn't have to make a debut once in a while for family...i 'd never clean up anything...ha!
     
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  7. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    I am very self-conscious. Always have been. It's because the skinny, self-conscious country girl still lives inside me. I put up a brave front when necessary but I'm still shy on the inside. I never dress outrageously so as not to call attention to myself.

    Maybe I should get myself a cowboy hat, a pair of cowboy boots, and a big silver belt buckle to overcome my shyness. :)
     
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  8. Von Jones

    Von Jones Supreme Member
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    Interesting.

    I have always been self conscious not because I wanted to be but because of others who always seemed to find something about me that in a 'mean' way they would say something about it. This was as a child. I was skinny, I wore glasses, I was shy, I was quite, etc. It was always something. So certainly, unaware then I was becoming self conscious. I believe it's why I can be by myself with no bothers.

    I could give my life history of how this affected me growing up but nah.

    I like being self conscious and I do take note of others when I'm out and about and sometimes I do speak when I see a need to alert some one if their fly is down or a handbag open or even a bugger in their nose :D or whatever if they are not aware, very discreet about it though. I would hope someone would do the same for me. This happens a lot at the flea market.

    How do I handle this today? Well, I was at a thrift store yesterday and saw a former landlord. There was an expression on his face that he recognized me but couldn't recall from where. So I tried to help him out by throwing him some memories I had until he finally remembered and you know what he said, "You were skinny." I just laughed.
     
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  9. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    I am a basic fashion kind of person. My attire for the last 7 years is jeans, tee shirts and athletic shoes.
    I rarely wear make up anymore, unless I am going somewhere specific. Even then, it is light.
    i do like to smell nice, but nothing heavy that is over powering. I am neat, clean, with out a much showiness.
    Try to dress age appropriate. Seeing a female with Juicy slapped on her butt and she's over the age of 25, is overkill to me - regardless of how thin you are.
    It is hard not be judgmental when you see how some people leave the house. Do they not own a mirror ?
     
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  10. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    Full length?

    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    Sigh Smh :rolleyes:
     
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  12. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    I’m extremely aware of who I am, what I am and whom I am striving to be so within that premise I am very self confident.
    Now, to a certain measure, I do not really care what anyone else thinks. As long as I am comfortable in my own skin and can tell myself truthfully that I am doing the right things then no fears.
     
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  13. Krystal Shay

    Krystal Shay Very Well-Known Member
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    Ditto!
     
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  14. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I was thinking about how the youth of today seem totally un-selfconscious. All the selfies and "influencers," and people on youtube putting their entire lives on display (or at least the edited version of their perfect existence.) I can barely stand to have my photo made and there is NO WAY I'd overshare like most of the young people seem to do. All that posing and preening and drawing of eyebrows must take up so much time that they can't hold a job.
     
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  15. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Noy at all, I try to look presentable.
     
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