Is it still possible to have a real dialogue, in today's world? Many people mistake two monologues for a dialogue. Two people were climbing the same mountain, each for their own reasons and with their own agendas. It was a high and narrow mountain ridge that was topped by a cold and jagged boney spine. The climb was hard and tiring, but they pressed on. One by one their agendas, becoming dead weight, were left behind. Finally after many hours, they approached the narrow ridge…one from the East the other from the West…until they were sitting together in the cold thin air, drinking in the breathtaking view, far below. Each is able to look down and see where they have been and where the other has been. They had made it to the top of Mt Dialog! It has been said that two monologues do not make a dialogue. In a relationship; when two Middle East Countries meet; in labor negotiations, or words between political parties, we see a lack of real dialogue…. and in its place we find a collection of monologues. I used to think it would be fun to have them trade speeches and read them aloud. Having two people together, in the same place, at the same time, with mutual goals, is no guarantee that dialogue will take place. Genuine dialogue takes effort and is a rare and mysterious state. But when it is present, we know it.
It's true that dialogue is becoming a lost art, even amongst couples and families, let alone political figures. I went to visit my family this weekend and my Mom and I spoke quite a bit about random things, back and forth conversation, but it was rare to see the younger generation actually talking rather than surfing the internet on their phones. My Son and I also shared some dialog but once there was a third party in the room even his eyes wandered to his phone. Perhaps we need to encourage a technology free day and teach dialog? I remember when socializing was common place, dinner parties were hosted and even game night involved so much more conversation than I observe today.
I have noticed that so many people are writing in the weird kind of "shorthand" that people used to only use for text messages. You can hardly ever read a post on Facebook without coming across, LOL, SMH, ROFL, and many others that I do not even know the meaning of. Not only has the art of dialogue disappeared, but just the simple art of using words. Almost the only thing that we still have in full words are the swear-words, and even some of those are now just abbreviations. Since I belong to several interesting Facebook groups, and post on there fairly regularly, I have noticed that much of the conversation just looks like a string of letters put together, and you have to be able to decipher the code, to even know what someone is talking about. I try my best not to use these "word-shortcuts" when I am writing, and avoid even the much overused LOL, that seems to be considered the fitting ending for almost any sentence nowadays . While I am on a roll here, I guess I might as well admit that one other thing that totally frustrates me is people who post on forums (and sometimes even consider themselves a writer), but do not even use basic paragraphs. We all know that it is easier to read something when it is not all just clumped into one huge lump of sentences. Paragraphs and spaces are there for a REASON ! I do understand how it can happen, especially when we are feverishly writing about something that we are passionate about, and just can't seem to get those words on the page fast enough. I have to edit my posts, and then make sure that I actually have spaces and paragraphs where they are meant to be. This is maybe one of the other lost parts of a dialogue, as opposed to two monologues happening at one time. We used to say something, and then give the other person a chance to respond, and that was one of the things that made conversation truly enjoyable, at least in my opinion. Muffle me quick, before I get started on Emoticons........
What I liked in the story of the two people climbing the same mountain, from opposing sides, and at last find themselves at the top ridge, looking down.....they are able (and willing) to look down, and see the other's side, as well as their own. I think that is a key ingredient, that is missing, in most "dialogues" today.
I find the messages with the text messages on them I do not read. It hurts to try and figure out what they mean. It is easier to just write out the message. We do try to have a no device at the table rule to make the kids talk to the adults. I think the adults are worst than the kids be connected to their devices all the time. I don't get it. I turn my phone off and do not miss it at all.
You see that a lot on television news shows, where it couldn't be clearer that the interviewer is so anxious to ask his next question that he's not listening to the answer to his last question. In most cases, the person being interviewed could confess to killing Kennedy, and the interviewer would simply go on to the next pre-prepared question. People do that in real life too, and I even find myself doing that sometimes, waiting patiently for someone to finish whatever it is that they are saying so that I can say what I wanted to say next.
Maybe this world of technology is getting to be the modern day version of Tower of Babel .. can't communicate anymore. And as the older generation, I remember when "focusing" used to be only a kid problem.