A Relationship In General

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Michael Santi, Jun 16, 2017.

  1. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I'm in Fresno and Pittsburgh was my hometown until I was 18.
     
    #16
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  2. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Veteran Member
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    I see ....
     
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  3. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    First ditch that "dirty ole man" crap. Why label yourself ? Unless you are grabbing females in the um wrong areas, talking dirty, or only have eyes for females under 21...your just a robust healthy male looking to have some fun and whatever...while you still can! There aint nothing dirty about that;)
     
    #18
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  4. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Unfortunately, there are those in our society that don't look it that way. And, there has to be a reason/reasons he's thinking that way.
     
    #19
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  5. Chris Ladewig

    Chris Ladewig Veteran Member
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    Being a female I can tell you that if you are seriously looking for a partner with the same interests, there is a multitude of women out there looking for the same thing. So I'm kind of dumbfounded to hear any one truly interested would have any difficulty finding some one.
     
    #20
  6. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    I think that Cody has a great concept of this idea (looking for a partner/companion) and if you actively look for people who might have the same outlook on life as you do, then it should be possible to find someone. Once you find someone who you like as a friend, then compatibility issues (such as food, lifestyle, and sex) can be discussed. There is nothing wrong with someone wanting to have sex in the relationship, and nothing wrong with not wanting to have it, as long as both partners are in agreement on the subject
    Just as it seems wrong if a woman is just looking for a man to enhance her financial situation, neither does a woman want to think that she is only being seen as an object for sex; so this can go both ways.
    When Bobby and I met, it was as friends from a Christian website, and as we began writing to each other, we learned more and more about what we were both looking for in a relationship, and sharing our interests with each other. We lived on either end of the continent; and had the time difference to deal with; but by the time we actually got to the point of meeting each other, we already knew a lot about the other person, and that we were compatible in our outlooks and expectations with a partner.
     
    #21
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2017
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  7. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Veteran Member
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    All responses above are appreciated and even hope - giving but I think without even knowing me, Gloria and Cody 'read' me best ... and Cody is right to say 'there are reasons' ... I didn't really touch on the thought processes behind the original post about the "Dirty Old Man" title .... In fairness to myself I should first say I have a tendency to be a bit overly brutal about things I consider my 'failings' and have always seemed to pick the harshest words in my self lashings ... no, I don't leer nor want a 21 year old, nor a sexual relationship that verges on sick or even dangerous pornographics. I don't need a Barbie Doll although after 13 years in California I'll admit ... and my son agrees, Pittsburgh women generally ,that is, probably 7 out of ten in a passing parade scenerio .. will be a bit more than heavy , even verging on morbid obesity. That I prefer normal sized or simply full figured or fluffy should not label me as being too picky.

    All of that aside, I think I should address Cody's thoughts about me in the post where he said "there are reasons he's thinking that way " because I did omit the things that caused my bitterness out of the original post. I'll get my head together and post it in a bit ... for now, it's time to make coffee !
     
    #22
  8. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Veteran Member
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    Have my thoughts together from the posts above and in trying to think how to explain both my lonliness as well as my anger at myself I thought about Andy Williams song "Yesterday when I was young". It speaks so perfectly clear to me I can't imagine anyone anywhere denying the lyrics to this beautiful piece of truth song.

    In fairness to all of us, the song does however isolate only the teller of the song's tale without mentioning the partners or romances that helped the teller fail . It takes two to Tango and I always found that apparantly as my past partners were Tango-ing .... I was doing the Twist or maybe even an absurd Bunny Hop.

    Differences such as that are forgivable in the 30's to 50's .... But there came a day I returned to Pa. and moved into what unknown to me when I signed the lease was basically a Senior Citizens complex .... and even more secreted was the fact some were living there who needed something more akin to a Senior Medical Care Facility ... not simply a Senior conveniences dwelling.

    If you are young at heart and active, surrounding yourself with people on a totally different plane of existence is anathama to one's sense of self esteem or well being .... All of the lesser to greatest gifts of life from motorcycles , hang gliding, martial arts, sexual prowess, good income .... to children, family, faith, health, hopes of Jesus, and peace with the reality of death seemed absolutely foreign to these people ... I was like some type of odd man out, on the outside looking in type of thing ... I finally knew what Clark Kent must have felt, (lol)

    I dated a few residents a bit but kept being scolded for the dangers of motorcycle riding, or for speaking of things totally unknown to even exist by these women ... and men as well, ie: RC planes, Tickbox, Vaping, Taikwondo, Oversized watches, omg ! ... in some cases even tv shows dating back to the freekin' 60's ! Some thought of buying cable tv as being equal to having a pentagram scarred into your forehead .... so you can imagine what happened by the time even the slightest topics that referred to sexual congress came up ..... voila ! The Dirty Old Man appeared on the buildings rooftop like some type of devient Batman ...

    I have tried to cut through explaining all of this many times by simply stating I want a woman who is a realist but not unaware of the possibility of ongoing youthfullness, beauty efforts, fun that is not as dangerous as they somehow were taught to believe, and lastly .... love wine, fireplaces, love, and lovemaking as well as being a one man woman to a one woman man.
     
    #23
  9. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    I have responded to this 5 times..but have not posted as afraid me and my down to earth Texas humor might be taken wrong. But I will say this...if you have not already...you need to get tha $#;&_out if there!
     
    #24
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  10. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    I was forty-eight before I was married for the first and only time. Even then, I wasn't looking for a relationship. We met while working together on a web directory.
     
    #25
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  11. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Veteran Member
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    I did get out Gloria ... a month ago, thus the trailer purchase and info I gave in other posts . But due to other problems I did stay at that complex for several years and only a month away from the place is too short a time to 'normalize' ... a smaller second concern is in the hope tp meet someone somewhere .... but where to go to do that has all seemed to change ..... women our age don't seem to do any of the things or go to the old type of places and activities as when we were younger ... needs have seemed to have drastically changed as well all the way down to a kind of 'sterile' exsistence that makes everyone who still has hope to seem simply gregarious and worldly or materialistic. Ahh ! Texas ! Marriott sent me to Irving for 3 years ... Dallas was my very favorite place ... I'd kill to have grits again at a Waffle House.
     
    #26
  12. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Churches and volunteer projects are good places to meet people.
     
    #27
  13. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    The suggestion above from Ken, is a good one
    You will find plenty of 'down to earth people' taking this route Michael :)
     
    #28
  14. Michael Santi

    Michael Santi Veteran Member
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    Maybe the volunteer projects, but I tried a Saved Christians dating site and it seems that some get way over spiritual and even a bit self righteous once they accept Jesus and realize for the first time they are bound for heaven but now understand exactly why .... ironically they try to start waving again the very 'filthy rags' they had tried to use all of their lives to get to heaven .... and just like the Senior apartment complex, there are judgements made. In the Christian ladies case it's judgement against anyone who doesn't look and act like a brown clothed eyes downward Puritan or speak in soft apologetic tones like tv's Kung Fu Caine.... Every lady I met on that site wanted Billy Graham, they just didn't see that fact ... I truly believe many of us would not like or even recognize Jesus if he took us out on a date .... And how many would judge Billy Graham for his lack of belief in Tongues if they knew that fact .... if in fact that fact is still a fact, lol!
     
    #29
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2017
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  15. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    Agree with that Michael :)
     
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